Monthly Archives: June 2012

Begin At The Beginning…

Why is it so necessary to begin at the beginning?  We just assume that the beginning is a good place to start, but what if there’s not anything notable to report at the beginning?  Why can’t we start from right here and pugger along?

I was very young at the beginning of my beginning, so I don’t remember much.  Some photos were taken, I got footprinted, and generally don’t recall anything momentus.  So I shan’t be beginning there, except to say…..well, there it is! 

I must have had a beginning, else I wouldn’t be here in the middle of this right now, but if I could’ve begun right here, I’m not so sure how that would turn out. 

I do like the way we begin and then follow sequentially along progressively.  I imagine it would be slightly uncomfortable to bounce about the spectrum like a golfball that fell off an overpass.  I mean, today you’re an “adult” and you’ve got your look just the way you want it, then tomorrow you’re a hormone secreting gawk that has “nothing to wear” and can’t be given the least bit of constructive direction (oh wait…….), and then next Thursday you awaken to find that you’re ready to retire and you’re grouchy, crabby, teeth don’t fit right, prune pudding eating…..again, hmmmmmmmmm…..

Point is, as we troggle along this lifeway, we do it in sequence for a reason.  Because it makes sense!  And if we only started a book on page 167, we’d be lost as to the plot and characters, because they were explained at the beginning.  Unless you happen to be reading one of those authors who likes to introduce random characters all throughout the story.  But I digress…..regress…..egress….wait, now I’m just lost!  Oh yes, while it is true that we have to begin at the beginning, we always have the opportunity to make a new beginning! 

Ah HA! And you thought there was no point to this babbling!

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Categories: Koffee Klatch, Wanderer's Wonderings | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , | 8 Comments

The Lost Art

There is an art form I do believe has been all but lost.  Well, perhaps “lost” might be too harsh a word.  “Severely Faded” might be a better turn of phrase for this purpose.  There was a time when one could take time to wander about, gaze upon the world around one in wonder and contemplation, and have a good think…..a ponder, if you will.  Have we truly forgotten how to contemplate, meditate, reason, and think?  Have we become so busy-ness oriented that we have lobotomized the part of our mind that engages in this quickly fading art of thought?

I’m puzzled, befuddled, confusticated, spasmodic, filled with pericombobulations, and altogether disappointed that we no longer have the time or desire to ponder.

Dang kids and their new fangled newfangledness!

Categories: Hmmmmm........, Koffee Klatch | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , | 34 Comments

Blah BLah BLAH!!!

I am, by nature, a contemplative.  That means I’m pretty much an introvert and speak little.  I love a good read and because of that I can be somewhat verbose in my writing.  I’ve never been able, however, to master the “art” or “skill” or “perfectly dreadful annoyance” of chit chat or small talk. Don’t get me wrong, I can carry on a conversation, but I much prefer conversations with substance and depth, sprinkled with bits of dry humor.

I’ve never been one to understand the “need” to fill every moment with words which seem to have no point.  I overhear conversations every day that almost cause me cringe as my nerves die slowly and painfully along with any intellect which may have found its way within my cranial capacities.

Here are some examples of aforementioned actual conversations I have overheard:

  • “Getting your arm ripped off……that must really REALLY hurt.  What color were her nails? Because THAT would be the worst!”
  • “And then I was all like, like, like, y’know?”
  • “You haven’t seen that movie yet?  Dude, you are SO gonna freak when……….”
  • “And then <insert child or grandchild’s name here> did (or said) the CUTEST thing!  I know I told you already, but I’ve just GOT to tell you again.”

Other topics that might cause me to walk away include:

  • The frequency of your bodily functions. – As long as your plumbing works, I’m good with not knowing about it.  If it doesn’t work, I’ll visit you in hospital.
  • Your personal grooming habits. – While I’m all in favor of keeping the parks and playgrounds under control and maintained, the fact remains, unless I’m going to be enjoying the parks and playgrounds, I’m not interested in how often they’re maintained.
  • Anything having to do with “Reality TV.” – I’m not against people making a buck, but if I want to see reality, I’m not looking at a television.  I watch television in order to escape reality.
  • Unrequested cooking lessons – I actually had a person lecture me for 30 minutes on how their way of preparing Brussel Sprouts was the absolute best.  Two issues I had with this exchange: 1) you just spoiled my beer enjoyment and 2) I don’t eat Brussel Sprouts.
  • Lectures on the bad effects of coffee. – Do not, and let me repeat DO NOT, presume that I will for a single instant listen to this diatribe without punching you in the throat!  Coffee is good!

I am quite certain there are many other topics which hold no fascination or intent on my part of enjoining.  While I will respect the need to talk of those who are so driven, I ask only that my desire to not engage in such be likewise respected.


Categories: Hmmmmm........, Koffee Klatch, Wandering Mind | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , | 33 Comments

Moogling

I’ve shared before that I certainly enjoy a good afternoon of moogling and pungling about the various closets, armoires, trunks, and those suitcases left in the corners or bends or circles of my mind.  It’s truly amazing all the oddities one can find when one begins searching the dusty recesses.  A few things jumped out at me (stop sniffing the air, that wasn’t me, I think a skunk died in here):

  • Where do you go when you want to think and ponder?  I mean besides the bathroom!
  • Why is the sky not green or yellow?  Why blue?
  • Who got to decide what size legal pads would be?
  • Do boogers REALLY serve a purpose?
  • What if the world were square?
  • Why aren’t more doors round?
  • How do you want to be remembered?  How do you want to be known NOW?

Just a few clouds of twoozle that waft about my mental attic from time to time.  I said “clouds” not fog, thank you VERY much!!

Categories: Hmmmmm........, Koffee Klatch, Wandering Mind | Tags: , , , , , , , , | 11 Comments

Welcome to the Compartment Department

Today has been a challenge to my sanity (oh shut up!), and it’s days like this that reinforce a growing concern.  As you boogle through our day, we sometimes run into many situations we’d rather not have to, but must face them anyway, and because these situations are potentially stressful, we greet them at the door with a hearty “Welcome to the Compartment Department!  Please allow me to direct you to the hole where you will be staying.” 

Then once sequestered therein, we bung along with our lives until we meet more stress, (“Hi, I’m A Stressful Situation. I’d like your undivided attention or a room please.  NOW!”)  And we end up running the Headspace Bed & Breakfast for Stress, dashing from room to room….making sure each client is tucked in, quiet, with the door locked, with the neighbors not making any problems, and we zip about like a Hamster on crack in a plastic ball. 

Everything is well in hand….and we are able to fool the world by appearing calm on the outside, while inside the noggin, we’ve gone from checking on our tenants (yes, they are tenants now) with a skateboard, to zipping about door-to-door on a motorcycle, to scooting about trying to catch one tenant who figured out how to escape and is now screaming naked down the hallway, down the stairs, and through the lobby toward your voice (which you suddenly realize is the one screaming).

Don’t get me wrong, compartmentalizing is quite a good coping method for the short term.  But in the longer term, not so much.  When guests turn into tenants they tend to demand more attention and have higher expectations.  You are expected to be at their beck and call and they can keep you sleepless, weary, irritable, and even perpetually exhausted.  At a Bed & Breakfast, guests are encouraged to make themselves comfortable, enjoy the amenities, have a bit of sleep, enjoy the complimentary hors d’0euvres, and get the hell out! HOWEVER….one difference between a regular B&B and the Headspace Rooms for Rent, is that a regular B&B gets cleaned out regularly.

If you are going to compartmentalize, make sure to air out the rooms once in a while and keep guest, not tenants!

Categories: Hmmmmm........, Koffee Klatch, Perspectives | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , | 29 Comments

Respite

I don’t know about you, and won’t pretend to speak for everyone, but there comes a point when I feel the need to doggle off for a think and a relax.  To be able to gather ones thoughts from their scattered and fragmented hideaways, to be able to think and dream, to breath and rest, or to cattle off on a strollabout seeking adventure or just to look at the scenery.  Everyone needs time away.  Everyone needs a respite from perhaps having to put on the “corporate face” or having to look like you have it all together (usually wadded up in the back of a desk drawer someplace), or even from just having to deal with the reality of it all.

Take time to take a breath.  Take time to narfle the garthok.  Every artist must step back from their work once in a while to see the perspective and make adjustments accordingly.  Make your living a masterpiece!

Categories: Koffee Klatch, Perspectives | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , | 42 Comments

Message In A Bottle

When I was younger, how much younger is irrelevant, just stick with I was younger, I was boogling about the seashore one morning looking for shark teeth that weren’t still in the shark’s mouth, when I happened to see something sparking in the surf.  I couldn’t resist watching it for a few moments until it slid across the sand, then I simple HAD to bong along and see what it was.

Oddly enough, it was truly a message in a bottle.  I couldn’t wrap my head around this treasure!  From from merely gazing upon this new found communique, my mind conjured all sorts of potential calamaties which could have caused someone to send out this, seemingly hopeless, message, this desperate plea, this legacy of their existence.

Therefore, I took the bottle to my room and set about opening it, which was much more difficult that it seemed given the heavily waxed seal.  All the while daydreaming about who may have sent it and where they might be.  As the daydreams reached their crescendo (with the cannonfire, sinking ships, mermaids, plank walking, marooning, etc.) I managed to get the wax off without breaking the bottle.  The cork slipped right out with a “POP” and then there was the message.

Carefully, so as not to mangle the message beyond readability, I coaxed it out of the bottle, unrolled it gently and read these words:

“Bottle empty….bring more rum!  Thanks!”

Before you shriek, there IS a point to be made here….if you had only one message you could send, what would it say?

Categories: Koffee Klatch, Perspectives | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 58 Comments

Ponderings About People

People watching is quite the fascinating obsession hobby which I enthusiastically enjoy.  People are incredibly revealing when they are unaware that they’re being stalked observed moodling about their day going about their routines.  Have you ever been on the inside of an office building that had reflective windows on the street side?  Ever seen people get lost in their appearance and start making adjustments?  Some are sad, some are humorous, and some are almost obscene!  (if you have an itch that causes your hands to disappear into the sanctity of your garments….please consider seeking medical attention).

I watched one person read the sign on the door that clearly said CLOSED, then this person reached out and tried to open the door, found it locked, looked at their watch, checked the door again, looked at the sign again.  As the sign had not changed, the watch was checked again, then the door was checked again.  Still locked, this routine went on for 20 minutes before this person decided to toddle off to the next destination of their day.

While perusing the local Best Buy for killing time, I observed some teens playing the video game on display.  They were twisting and weaving the controller every which way.  If the game had a left turn, they turned the controller left and leaned their body and head to the left.  I had to chuckle because I’ve done the same thing.

I’m always amazed by signs.  Why?  Take the one posted above for example.  If you’ve ever been anywhere close to any human or animal, then you should know by now that they will bite, kick, and fart in your general direction.  Some will spit, spew, belch, and even fling poo.  Do you REALLY need a sign to warn you to be cautious?  Do we REALLY need someone to remind us that coffee is hot or that alcohol will impair your fabulous driving skills, or that brick walls and cars don’t mix well, or that feeding you hamburger to the monkeys will get you a case of Who-Flung-Doo?  Do we REALLY believe that everyone else is supposed to look out where we walk, drive, wander whilst texting or chatting on the cellphone?

Sometimes I wonder if animals would be much happier if the roles were reversed and they could have warning signs about us.  Hmmmm…  

One last thing…NO SMOKING AROUND FARTERS!

Categories: Hmmmmm........, Koffee Klatch | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , | 23 Comments

Oddities Of Truth

Here are a few unusual morsels that might bring a chuckle or a weird look….

  1. It would take about 1,200,000 mosquitoes to fully drain the average human body of blood. (And I do believe most of those have taken up residence here in Swampland).
  2. If you put two straws in your mouth, one inside a drink and one outside it, you won’t be able to drink through either straw. (Or could it be just me?)
  3. For most people, no matter how hard you pinch the skin on your elbow with your fingers it doesn’t hurt. (Go ahead….give yourself a pinch.)
  4. Historically, sweat has been an active ingredient in perfume. (Hence the term Eau d’Toilette?)
  5. Cherophobia is a fear of fun. (I know a few people who have this affliction)
  6. You are about 1 centimeter taller in the morning than in the evening! (which explains quite a few things)
  7. Women wishing to enter Canada to work as strippers must provide naked photos of themselves to qualify for a visa! (Feel free to allow me to pre-qualify any candidates)
  8. The chances of you dying on the way to get your lottery tickets is greater than your chances of winning. (Which is why I prefer not to play the lottery).
  9. 99% of people cannot lick their elbow. (and of those….90% don’t want to)
  10. The Hemlock Water Dropwort is a poisonous plant that leaves the victim with a smile on their face at the time of death.
Categories: Hmmmmm........, Koffee Klatch | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , | 18 Comments

And Life Sails On

Keeping with the whole “watery” theme, I let my mind have a ponder earlier while I was busy getting more coffee, and apparently it wandered about for a moodle or two, then sauntered back quite proud of itself for having bongled a few thoughts together for the Power Point presentation I got to endure.

Dylan Thomas scribbled an absolute powerhouse of the doodle when he wrote: “Do not go gentle into that good night.”  Why should we muddle about in a glunder our whole lives, only to reach the end and slip quietly into the mists of time without so much as a blip?  We blonk along in a rut, going through the motions of our day, without even realizing because we have become so numb or fearful that we refuse to even try to step outside of our comfortable existence.  We trundle along daring not touch the sides of our rut for fear of creating a wave or leaving a trail of some sort to indicate that we even bomped along this way.  “Do NOT go gentle into that good night. Perhaps there are some who might think “what arrogance is this that should be suggested that I should step out of my comfortable area?”  To you I say, if you are comfortable in your flanneled, footied jams, and find no cause for which your heart could beat even one pace faster, then you live not…..you’ve been dead for a while now, and merely haven’t had the good graces to have a lie down. 

There’s another line I like, from somewhere that my mind didn’t credit in the presentation, that says: “We live until we die!” Oh REALLY?  Do we?  We may troodle down the lane of life with our heads down and keeping a measured pace, but is that living?  Living is a DARE!  Making a difference is a frightening prospect.  It requires that we step right out of line, raise our hands, or even harder….show that we care. 

My rambling point is this: We can sail through this life around the quiet of the harbor’s protection, or we can adjust our sails and discover new adventures!  Either way, the winds of life push us ever onward, the only question to inquire of yourself is….where?

I’ve said this before, and, brace yourself, here it comes again:

When you reach the moment of your end, what will you hear?

  • The deafening silence because no one knew you were ever here?
  • The applause of those who are glad you finally have gone?
  • Or the thunderous ovation of those who are glad you lived?
Categories: Koffee Klatch, Perspectives | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , | 12 Comments

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