I am, by nature, a contemplative. That means I’m pretty much an introvert and speak little. I love a good read and because of that I can be somewhat verbose in my writing. I’ve never been able, however, to master the “art” or “skill” or “perfectly dreadful annoyance” of chit chat or small talk. Don’t get me wrong, I can carry on a conversation, but I much prefer conversations with substance and depth, sprinkled with bits of dry humor.
I’ve never been one to understand the “need” to fill every moment with words which seem to have no point. I overhear conversations every day that almost cause me cringe as my nerves die slowly and painfully along with any intellect which may have found its way within my cranial capacities.
Here are some examples of aforementioned actual conversations I have overheard:
- “Getting your arm ripped off……that must really REALLY hurt. What color were her nails? Because THAT would be the worst!”
- “And then I was all like, like, like, y’know?”
- “You haven’t seen that movie yet? Dude, you are SO gonna freak when……….”
- “And then <insert child or grandchild’s name here> did (or said) the CUTEST thing! I know I told you already, but I’ve just GOT to tell you again.”
Other topics that might cause me to walk away include:
- The frequency of your bodily functions. – As long as your plumbing works, I’m good with not knowing about it. If it doesn’t work, I’ll visit you in hospital.
- Your personal grooming habits. – While I’m all in favor of keeping the parks and playgrounds under control and maintained, the fact remains, unless I’m going to be enjoying the parks and playgrounds, I’m not interested in how often they’re maintained.
- Anything having to do with “Reality TV.” – I’m not against people making a buck, but if I want to see reality, I’m not looking at a television. I watch television in order to escape reality.
- Unrequested cooking lessons – I actually had a person lecture me for 30 minutes on how their way of preparing Brussel Sprouts was the absolute best. Two issues I had with this exchange: 1) you just spoiled my beer enjoyment and 2) I don’t eat Brussel Sprouts.
- Lectures on the bad effects of coffee. – Do not, and let me repeat DO NOT, presume that I will for a single instant listen to this diatribe without punching you in the throat! Coffee is good!
I am quite certain there are many other topics which hold no fascination or intent on my part of enjoining. While I will respect the need to talk of those who are so driven, I ask only that my desire to not engage in such be likewise respected.