- Will you hold my kangaroo while I paint the piano?
- I really don’t have enough stress in my life.
- I never learned to smile.
- I like being around crabby and critical people.
- Love doesn’t exist.
- If this makes me look fat then I’ll just have to go naked.
- Would you please pass me that honey badger.
- I think I’ll start working on becoming an alcoholic today.
- Why no, my poop really doesn’t stink.
- Don’t need to turn the light on, the furniture will move out of my way.
There are probably more, but that would require more coffee and another mental wander.