Posts Tagged With: Bacon

I’m Just Weird That Way

Bacony Bacon

I have tried.  I have tried many times, and have failed miserably each time.  I like to eat. I’m just weird that way.  I like to eat and I’m not ashamed to say it.

The issue I have with so called “nutrition plans” is that I am a simple guy.  The plans I have seen require that you calculate more equations than a physicist trying to define string theory!

  • How many carbs did you have?
  • Were they good carbs or bad carbs?
  • How many good carbs versus bad carbs?
  • Did you exercise today?
  • How many steps did you take?
  • How fast were you stepping?
  • How much protein is in that salad?
  • Did you have cheese on that salad?
  • Thank you for posting the picture of the salad.  Is that BACON I see on your salad?
  • Did you eat it?
  • Did you eat ALL of it?
  • Did it make you feel dirty?
  • How dirty?
  • What were you wearing?

You see how these things can degrade into something other than helpful.

As I said, I am a simple guy, and I like simple food.  I eat salad.  No onions, peppers, or dressing.  I like cheeseburgers without condiments or vegetables added.  The only condiment I use with any regularity is black pepper.  I like rice, most beans, lentils, barley, beef, most pork, chicken, and some fish.  I am from the Southern United States and, yes, buttery grits, eggs and bacon with biscuits are staples.  I don’t mind oatmeal though.

The difficulty I have with changing my eating habits is everyone has a different plan and they are all “easy” (like hemorrhoids) and want me to STOP eating most of the things I like and START eating things I wouldn’t feed a pig.  Let me be very blunt: If I don’t like it, I will NOT be putting it in my mouth! End of story.

Why can’t someone come up with an eating plan that actually takes inventory of what I like to eat, and make a plan from that list?  Is that REALLY so hard?

Cookie-cutter eating plans do NOT work for me and the Energizer Bunny types who push their plans or “Eating Systems” annoy me enough to want to see them fall into a hole liked with barbed wire!

Keep it simple or shut up!

 

 

Rant over for now.

Categories: Perspectives | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

I’ve Reached The Point

You are hereFor some reason, I found myself in a contemplative mood this afternoon.  The thoughts dinking about my mind were becoming annoying, rather like a dripping spigot with the drops striking a metal basin. 

Reaching the milestone age of One Day After Yesterday is quite the achievement. And to celebrate, I decided to take an inventory, of sorts, of my life thus far.

I am, quite literally, twice the man I was at 16.  More solidly built, sacrificing speed, yet still sturdy.  The hair is a completely different story, being that it vacates the premises with alarming regularity and speed.  But I must admit, grass does have difficulty taking root on an active playground.

My memory is becoming somewhat “iffy” due to my inability to remember due to…..let’s go with “all the wisdom that has taken up residence in my mind.” It sounds better than “I just forgot what I was writing.”

I have reached the point in life where I dread going to the doctor, not so much for the news that I need to exercise more and stop enjoying bacon, but because it is increasingly difficult for me to take seriously this advice having come from a lengthy heritage of bacon enjoyers.

A few things I have learned in my sojourn here….

  • Asparagus will eternally be evil.
  • Nap Time should not be limited to children.
  • Chocolate does cure a multitude of moods.
  • Coffee is a necessity, moreso than pants.
  • It is ALWAYS good form to be polite.
  • What you don’t know might actually kill you, but you won’t know it.
  • We try far too much to achieve far too much without considering the things we must sacrifice.
  • No, you cannot have it all.
  • There is a difference between a “mistake” and an “error.”  A mistake can be fixed with an eraser. An error needs an apology (sincere and immediate).
  • If you strive for perfection, you will live your life in great disappointment.
  • Flowers smell nice for a reason. Slow down and smell them once in a while.
  • True friends are rare gifts. If you want one, BE one.
  • Dance with all your heart.
  • Never forget what it feels like to laugh!
  • Love is a treasured mode of travel, not a momentary destination.
  • You are only allowed one breath at a time. So make every breath count.
  • Every day is building your legacy, make sure it is a legacy worth remembering.

Tomorrow is another milestone on this journey.

Categories: Fortress of Solitude, Hmmmmm........, Koffee Klatch, Perspectives, Wanderer's Wonderings, Wandering Mind | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

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