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Those Aren’t My Pants, Officer!

Businessman Hiding Face Not My Fault

A 38 year-old male lives in a small camper trailer in his mother’s driveway, has no job, doesn’t not want to do anything with his life, and tells his mother that it’s NOT his fault because he’s disabled.  Now before judgement is passed, understand that this claim of being “disabled” is a recent claim he has made and there is no documentation or substantiation to this claim.  Prior to this sudden revelation, he would get a part time job, keep it for about 6 months and suddenly “lose” the job through, amazingly, no fault of his own and then he would collect unemployment.  Once unemployment ran out, the cycle would repeat itself over and over and over for 20 years.  But nothing is his fault!

We are very good at declaring, and believing, that nothing is our fault, that we bear no responsibility for any of our actions or words.  The liar is not responsible for his lies, no matter who they hurt or whose reputation or life is destroyed, because he claims it’s not his fault he spoke without checking the truth.

The drunk driver who kills someone claims it’s not his fault because the bar served him the alcohol or because his mommy and daddy never taught him the difference between right and wrong.

If we are truly not responsible for our deeds and words then who is?

Here’s what I witnessed when I went as a civilian ridealong with one of my friends who is a police officer.  A young male was pulled over for a traffic violation (failure to stop at a stop sign).  The officer approached the car (while I stayed put in the car watching the dash cam recording).  The officer stated that there is the strong smell of marijuana and alcohol coming from the car and asks the young man to exit the vehicle.  The young man gets out, the officer does a “pat down” to check for weapons but finds almost 1/4 of a pound bag of marijuana in the young man’s front pocket.  The following conversation ensued:

Officer: “Is this yours?”

Young Man:“Dude, ain’t never seen that before! These ain’t even my pants.”

Officer: “Not your pants? Then whose are they?”

Young Man: “Dude, I was at a party and when I got ready to hit the road I just picked them up and put them on.”

Officer: “But you don’t know whose pants these are?”

Young Man: “No Sir! I have NO idea whose pants these are or how that weed got in my pocket.”

Officer: “So they’re not your pants but the pockets are yours?”

Young Man: “Nah Man! Ain’t my pants!”

Officer: “Help me out here…you went to a party where pants are not allowed or were you there as a male stripper or what kind of party was it?”

Young Man: “Nah man! These are my cousin’s pants.  Yeah, these are my cousin’s pants.”

Officer: “What’s your cousin’s name?”

Young Man: “Ah man, I don’t know her name!”

Officer: “So you’re wearing ladies pants?”

This conversation went on for half an hour until another officer came on scene to assist.  Eventually, it was discovered that the name tag sewn into the waistband of the pants was the same name as the young man and the same name on the ID card he had provided.  But the young man continued to blame everyone else for his actions instead of stepping up and taking responsibility.

When I was growing up, my Dad taught me very early on that if I did something wrong, I needed to take responsibility for it.  If I did it, and took responsibility for it, the punishment (which was painful) would be a LOT less than if I lied about it.  Granted, I had to learn this lesson the hard way, but it only took once.

Yet taking responsibility for our words and deeds is still something our society refuses to accept.  We love playing the “Blame Game.”

 

Categories: Hmmmmm........, Perspectives | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Give Heed And Stop Feeding The Greed!

Greed

As Thanksgiving approaches, and the Christmas adverts have already begun, I simply cannot wrap my mind around it.  I just cannot fathom the sheer capacity of greed in our society!  Every year, Black Friday sales seem to start earlier and earlier.  Every year the crowds become rowdier and more violent.  Every year the face of GREED makes itself more and more visible.

People are willing to trample others, quite literally to death, for a television or toy or some other object that will need to be replaced or repaired before the credit card is paid off.  Human life becomes of less value than stuff!  Yet people, year after year, grab as much as they can.

What about the workers in these stores?  I have a friend who worked as a cashier at StuffMart last Christmas season who told me that she had to wear Depends Adult Diapers because they were so busy she didn’t have a chance to even go to the restroom.  Had another friend who worked at a Mall who said there were so many fights over stuff that he lost count (after 40).  What’s WRONG with people?

There are families that actually work out a plan so they can grab as much stuff as they possibly can for their clan.  They map it out, work out strategies, have communication devices always at the ready, and some even have practice runs for several months in advance.  WHY?

When I was growing up, we were told that we could make a list of FIVE items that were less than $50.  Of those five items “Santa” would pick one, possibly two, of them.  We were taught that the season was about the love of friends and family, not about stuff.  True, I would envy my friends who had GOBS of gifts.  But the older I got, the more I noticed that these same people were never happy with what they had received and were certainly not grateful!  In fact, they became more and more demanding!

I told my family, several years ago, that I would only purchase one small item for each of them.  They were welcome to accept it with gratitude or respectfully decline it.  It has worked well so far.  Our holidays are much less stressful and we aren’t bruised, battered, or dead from the invading hordes of the greedy!

Is THIS what we have become?

Is THIS what we have become?

Categories: Perspectives | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Dare I Say It?

I'm OFFENDED!“That’s Offensive!”

“I’m Offended!”

Why are we wasting so much time and energy looking for reasons to be offended?  Why are we burning up so much of our limited time on this orb being offended (with the marching and the shouting and the rioting and the burning and the general mayhem with accompanying chaos)?

  • People get offended because of a flag.
  • People get offended by the people who are offended by a flag.
  • People are offended by something their ancestors endured.
  • People are offended by those who are offended by something their ancestors endured.
  • People are offended because they are expected to follow the law.
  • People are offended because those enforcing the law didn’t bring them warm milk and cookies and coddle them.
  • People get offended because someone said a word.
  • People get offended because they think they have every right to be offensive.

We waste SO MUCH of our lives either offending or being offended and being angry about it!  Can ANYONE change history? NOPE!   Can anyone change their skin pigmentation? Possibly, but at great financial expense.  Can anyone un-say anything they have said?  Nope!  Can anyone undo what has been done? Nope.

People yell, shout, scream, and demand “justice” when they really want revenge!  People yell, scream, shout, and demand “equality” and “unity” yet they are not willing to stop being divisive.

Let’s be honest: the life is NOT fair!  Never has been and never will be. We are divided because we CHOOSE to be divisive!  If we want to be a united culture then we have got to stop being divisive and start being courteous and respectful toward each other.  We have got to learn to let go of the things we cannot change.

We can only move forward from THIS point in time!  We cannot move forward if we continue to focus on what’s behind us.  Learn from history, learn that cooperation DOES work, and learn to move forward in cooperation!

Think about this:  If you take 10 people and give each of them $1M.  Within three generations, at least half of them will be broke (or in debt). And about 1% will be the wealthiest among the group (by fair means or foul).  Why? Because we focus more on the MONEY instead of the PEOPLE!

But that’s just my two cents worth.

And, by the way, I am offended that the symbol for cents is not found on my computer keyboard while the $ symbol is very clearly placed.

Categories: Koffee Klatch, Perspectives, Wanderer's Wonderings | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Courtesy And Respect Rant

courtesyCourtesy….no something that is so commonplace any longer.  As an observer of human interactions, I have the opportunity to….well…..observe human interactions.  I was at a coffee shop yesterday, and watched how many people either held the door for the person behind them or held the door so the person behind them could enter first.  Out of 75 people…only 3 held the door.  I did count 17 people who pushed ahead of others to reach the door first (after all, they must surely be more important than anyone else).

What happened to courtesy?  Did it get frustrated and walk away?  Did it become depressed and jumped off a bridge?  Has courtesy become so leprous that it no longer is welcomed?

If someone gives you a ride, do you tell them “Thank You” or is that too much trouble or is the fact that they GAVE you a ride when they didn’t have to just too inconvenient for a response?

If someone allows you to stay in their home with them so you can get your life together, is it asking too much that you behave with courtesy and respect? Or does the fact that they allow you to stay in their home an “entitlement” which they somehow “owe” you, but you are going to do whatever you want and they are going to just have to deal with it and accept it?

I have witnessed these type of discourteous behaviors over and over.  They disgust me!

  • Sincere courtesy shows that you are both respectful and respectable!
  • Being courteous shows that you are a grateful and thankful person, understanding that the things you have to be grateful and thankful for are not owed to you, rather are courtesies.
  • Being courteous and respectful will pave a lot of potholes in an otherwise damaged interaction.
  • Being respectful and courteous can extend the acts for which you are being grateful and thankful for.

Bottom Line: If you want courtesy, be courteous! And, like unto it, If you want respect, be respectful!

Categories: Perspectives | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

I’m NOT Dead? Well, Then…What Now?

not deadEach morning, I hear the birds chirping as they begin their busy day of bug hunting, nest building, and flitting from hither to yon.

Each morning, I smell the air through the open window.

Each morning, I taste the exquisite flavor of the juicing of that naughty bean we call “coffee.”

And each morning is a reminder that I am not yet dead!  My life is not yet over.  I still have opportunities and choices.  There are still people to annoy; books to read; stories to write; songs to sing badly;food to enjoy; beer to savor; family to…well y’know how family is.

Each morning is a reminder that we are ALIVE and we should not sit about wondering what to do (as if we’re surprised we’re not dead), we should be about the business of reminding ourselves and the rest of the world’s patrons that WE ARE ALIVE DAMMIT! 

Not get the hell away from my coffee!!!

Categories: Wanderer's Wonderings | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Fitness Fanatics, Servers, and Annoying Salespeople…A Rant!

Workout Creature

I get the fact that some people wish to work out and work out and work out and work out.  I get that all their working out apparently triggers a “piss everyone else off” synapse because they suddenly become like the Energizer Bunny with a volume and intensity that can be felt moment they step into the same building.  They puff and posture as they talk about their latest workout/fitness routine as they drink gallons of some concoction from their “shaker bottles.”  And THEN they start in on everyone else with such comments like: “You depressed? Don’t wuss out and talk about it, SWEAT IT OUT!” or “Why are you eating all that crap?” or “Crossfit/Basic/Powerlifting/etc. changed me into AWESOME!”

I get that they are proud of their accomplishment, yet I am curious as to whether they realize how much it will take to maintain their “AWESOME” for the rest of their lives.  I give as example my High School reunion of a number of years which we won’t discuss.  The beefy jocks had become more paunch than muscle…their beefcake had deteriorated into jerky…yet the jerk attitude remained.

And then I have people who constantly tout the latest multi-level marketing health and fitness company which has “the best products out today.”  More powders to mix in your shaker, more vitamins and supplements to ingest at specific times and an entire menu of raw foods which are to be eaten every two hours.  And all at a nice little price tag that is more than I earn in two-months. I admit that I was suckered into a few of these programs because the people who were selling it were friends and they were pretty and they said the right cheerleader type peptalk peppered with zen like wisdom, and I am basically just a big sucker for a pretty face.  But when I commented about how expensive this program was getting (to the point I was having to choose between putting fuel in my car to get to work to earn the money to buy their crap or live in a van down by the river so I can spend my unemployment check buying a small bit of their crap), and I was suddenly considered to be a “loser” and an “inconsequential.”

Then I happen to have to deal with the salespeople who, I realize, work on commission and are so very eager to make a sale quick so they can move on to the next sale.  I actually had one overly excited young man start trying to finish my sentences for me when I was trying to tell him what I was looking for.  I could tell he was getting irritated with my questions when he began scanning the people walking through behind me and his eyes teared up.  Let me be extremely clear here: There is a reason I came to your establishment, and if you want me to spend MY money in your establishment, then give me the courtesy of your attention and make the experience such that I will not only want to come back, but I will want to recommend to others.

pushy salesperson

Finally, I would like to discuss bartenders and servers.  Yes, I know you work for LESS THAN MINIMUM WAGE, so I don’t need to be told that every time I come in.  Yes, I know gratuities are your bread and butter.  Yes, I realize that I am not a hot hunk of eye candy.  But YOU need to understand that when I come to your establishment (especially if you know I am a regular whether I am your regular or not) I will be spending my money.  I CHOSE to come to your establishment to spend my money.  And when I have chosen to spend my money at your establishment, I have factored in a HUGE gratuity often in the 75-90%.  But you see, the gratuity YOU will receive depends entirely on YOU!

wild-wing-cafeThere was an restaurant I had been frequenting for the last 10 years.  I was friends with many of the staff and the staff made it clear that they WANTED me to sit in their section.  They would smile, some would even hug me, they remembered my name, and even seemed to be glad I had come in.  Slowly, over time, as life is wont to do, these staff members went on to further their educations or had taken another job or simply found something else to do with their lives.  So, the staff who was left, knowing that I had been a good regular customer because they had witnessed it, ignored me when I came in.  The last time I went in to get a beer, not only did the bartender no even acknowledge my presence, but none of the staff even smiled at me.  They were ALL huddled in the corner of the bar area, with the “pretty people” (who leave no gratuity) laughing about something that had been posted on Facebook.  After 30 minutes of this (and I was one of only four people sitting at the bar), I left.  I am a advocate of: “If you want good customer service, BE a good customer.”  But I am also an advocate of: “If you want a good gratuity, BE a good server.”

Okay, rant over and I am off to find a new place to spend my money!

Categories: Hmmmmm........, Perspectives | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

So What If I Act Like A Hermit Crab?

hermit crabI like quiet!

I like not talking!

I like thinking!

I like observing!

I like reading!

I like working alone!

I like my alone time!

NO, I am NOT a leper!  NO, this is not “just a phase.” NO, I am not anti-social!  NO, I am not unhappy!  NO, crowds will NOT bring me “out of that shell”, matter of fact, crowds make me withdraw deeper into my shell.  NO, I am not avoiding you….well, perhaps I am but only if you are being loud and pushy.

Hear me very carefully…I’m an INTROVERT!  That just means I process internally (and quietly).  I have no need or desire to be gregarious.  I cringe at the thought of being expected to be the center of attention or life of the party.  In fact, MY idea of a great party is a gathering of my few closest friends (and I do NOT make friends easily), in a quiet setting.  I don’t require a horde of loud whooping Barbarians trying to yawp louder than the rest.  The friends I have are friends for life. For you see, I take friendship quite seriously.

In my youth, I was that one person everyone liked to have around because I would listen.  However, having been branded as that “Sweet Guy” or, worse, “That Nice Guy” pretty much doomed any role for me other than that of listener.  I admit that I was bitter and angry about having been shoved into that role, but time has passed and those who shoved me into that role still tend to seek me out to listen.  But the people who thought me to be that “Nice Guy” failed to understand (or take the time to inquire) that I am an Introvert and, though I am quiet and withdrawn, I have feelings.

I have come to accept my Introversion and have found my niche.  I am an observer of human interactions. Not in that Ice Cream Truck Pervy kind of way, rather I sit on the fringe of the group or party and observe how humans interact with each other.  Not much escapes my notice and I have found that humans have the same habits and interactions as Simians.

At a party for example, there is immediately a “sizing up” of the new arrivals.  The males of the group begin their puffing up and posturing, which is followed up by the exaggerated sports talk at a loud volume, which includes lots of alcohol consumption complete with belching, scratching, and the none-too-subtle “checking out” of the female attendees (And, of course, every female who is deemed desirable or attractive “wants me).  The loud sports talk includes such physical displays as pantomiming a particular sports play considered to have been outstanding. At some point the sports talk will drift into the “who’s got the coolest job” puffery.

The female attendees are not much better in their activities.  They immediately “size up” the new arrivals to judge them on their couture, make-up, hair, jewelry, and general physical appearance.  Yes, even the females judge each other by the size and perkiness of the bosoms, with such statements as: “Those CAN’T be real!” or “Someone’s bought a new set” or “That poor dear couldn’t nourish a mosquito, much less attract a REAL man.”  And, yes, though the females may hide (or think they are hiding) they scratch, pick, and adjust just like the males.

While I realize that these observations reveal stereotypes, the human works very hard trying to make other humans think they are not human.  I chuckle quietly to myself knowing that some other Introvert is most likely observing me.

But think of Introversion this way: “It is the rain that nourishes the grass, not the thunder!”  – Rumi

Categories: Hmmmmm........, Perspectives | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

You Are Weird! So Wave Your Flag Proudly!

Weird Flag

Don’t know about you, but I am one of those people who doesn’t seem to truly “fit in” with any particular group or clique. My childhood was spent feeling awkward and out of place.  And to a large extent those same feelings continue today, but the difference is that now, I really just don’t care if I fit in or not.

I was taught that everyone was unique.  Similar, perhaps, but unique.  Cliques were nothing more than a gaggle of folks who want so much to be like their leader that they live false lives.  They live this facade until they even begin to believe their masks are real, which is the true tragedy because the world needs individuals working together in harmony to create that unique situation called “community.”

Imagine life with no masks, where we are real (as frightening as that may seem), where we are more concerned for others than for ourselves because we know others are doing the same.  Yeah, Utopian Ideology.  But my mind can wander through that dream can’t it?

So raise your Weird Banner and wave it proudly with me!  “To thine ownself be true and it must follow, as the night the day, that thou canst not then be false to any man” – Bill Shakespeare.  Methinks Ol’ Bill got it right!

Categories: Wanderer's Wonderings | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Who? Did WHAT?

what

I am a curious sort and, as a result, many questions flow through my brain seeking answers or, at least, clues to answers.

  •  Whilst printing an email this morning, my mind wandered off to pose the question: Who decided the standard size of paper to be 8.5″x11″?
  •  I then read an article about the MOST EXPENSIVE coffee in the world…kopi luwak from Sumatra.  Apparently, the Civet Cat eats the coffee cherries and then poops out the beans.  Now…..I have an addiction to coffee.  I love coffee!  I drink lots of coffee.  But the voices in my head united as one to ask the question: “The most expensive coffee in the world is found in cat poop?” Who was the person who figured this out?  I can’t speak for anyone else, but as much as I love coffee, digging through cat crap to get a cup of coffee will most definitely cure my addiction post haste!
  • Next I saw an advert for Fiji Water which claims to be bottled at the source without being touched by human hands.  How does water flow from the source, into pipes (made by human hands or machinery made by human hands), and then into PLASTIC bottles (made by human hands or machinery made by human hands), and then into the stores?  How do we know this isn’t the result of some guy with a garden hose mucking about in his garden filling up plastic bottles and laughing himself silly as his bank account just grows and grows?
  • Next came an advert for the Fiat 500.  This minuscule auto is not much larger than a golf cart and was intended to be the competition for the Mini Cooper and the Smart Car.  Yet, according to the advert, if you “accidentally” drop a Viagra tablet into the fuel tank, the docile Fiat 500 becomes all bulked up into a bit of a rager.  So should your Fiat 500 remain in this bulked up state for more than 4 hours, should one consult their local garage?

Other miscellaneous ponderings include such issues as:

  • Who decided how much water it would take to make poop disappear down the pipes?
  • Who decided a red light meant STOP, unless you are in a brothel quarter and then it has a completely different meaning.
  • Why does a scantily clad woman become offended when the Average Joe looks are her displayed wares?
  • If we are all so much alike, why do I like quiet while others prefer loud?
  • Why do we never see human heads stuffed and mounted on the walls of animal homes?
  • Who was the one who got to decide that scratching where it actually itches in “inappropriate”?
  • Why do the “Standard Size” windows seem to change when I need to have one replaced or re-glassed?
  • Why do women wear brasseries that “Lift and Separate” but when the lifted and separated are noticed by men, the men are told “eyes up here”?

These are just a few of my mental wanderings.

Categories: Wanderer's Wonderings | Tags: , , , , , , , , | 7 Comments

Trampling Is Okay….But Only For Some!

tramplingWe are quite a confusing society, I am learning slowly.  It would seem, to the observer, that one person’s “rights” are more valuable than the “rights” of someone else.  Take for example, I am stopped at a traffic signal with my windows rolled up enjoying the music of my choice at a level that can only be heard by my and the air particles within my car.  Next to me pulls up a driver whose music of choice thumps hard enough that my car vibrates in rhythm and I can no longer hear myself think because her windows are down and she is quite enthusiastic about forcing everyone to listen to her music.  On the other side of me arrives a driver whose windows are up, but whose music is also loud enough to be heard and felt long before his arrival at the intersection.  The drivers on either side of me then engage in a war of music to see who can drown out the other.

Therefore, my question is this: Since when do their “right” to force their music of choice upon me outweigh my “right” to listen to my music of choice?

While I completely understand that we don’t all like the same things.  If we did, what a dull existence we would have….dressing the same, thinking the same, eating the same, living the same, talking the same….BORING!  Yet why am I, a rather quiet introvert, apparently of less value than those who are loud?

Categories: Perspectives | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

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