Posts Tagged With: friends

Encourage Me…Don’t Tick Me Off!

Better Motivation

I need to lose some weight. And I need to move more…I get it.  Way back when I was in the Army, I didn’t have a problem with weight loss or moving more because we all moved as a squad.  Rather an “All for one and one for all” arrangement.  We encouraged each other and if one needed something we ALL took the burden on.

That was then.  I honestly miss those days quite a bit because that tight-knit group of comrades has long since gone their ways, have their own families, and lives.  So here I am trying to go it alone with the moving and the weightloss without their support.

I have begun changing some of my eating habits, mainly because I like simple foods.  By simple, I mean, as little effort as possible.  I eat my salads without dressing because I discovered that most of the fat content in the salads is found in the dressing, but mainly because I just don’t like salad dressing.  I opt not to use condiments, except for a pinch of salt or pepper, because I want to actually taste the FOOD not just have a mouthful of condiment guck!

I do have friends and family members who believe they are being helpful in their methods of “encouragement.”  While I do appreciate their desire to help me become healthier, their methods are reminiscent of Drill Sergeant Hartman from ‘Full Metal Jacket’ or they nag continuously.  Neither approach is what I consider encouraging because the only motivation I get from that is to let my stubborn bull-headedness dig in its heals and tune them out.

When I was with my Squadmates, we all started in the same basic shape of, in military terms: “out of.”  Together, we began from basically the same starting point, and together we worked our weight down and our shape in.  And it worked perfectly, like a greased herd of hogs through the arms of the catchers at a County Fair were we.

Now I am older and my job requires little movement because it involves mostly brain work and listening.  And I honestly admit that I have become “comfortable” with my life.  I like SIMPLE!

I have people trying to show me how to count calories and then count the calories of proteins, carbs, fats, sugars, measure cholesterol intake, waste output, multiply it by .247 times the distance from the Sun to Uranus, swing that flaming mossy branch over the smelly shoe inserts……you get how my mind finds this quite overly complicated.  I like SIMPLE!  By “SIMPLE” I mean: I like it, I eat it, I’m done!  Don’t complicate things, just fix it and be done!

This is why I am NOT a nutritionist.  Nor am I an exercise nut.  I am willing to walk as long as I enjoy doing it.  When it becomes a chore, I stop.  NO! I’m not all gung-ho about pushing myself.  Yes, I realize I am going to die, at some point, because we ALL do.  So guilt no longer works on me; pushing no longer works on me; nagging no longer works on me.

If I like it, I will eat it.  If I like it, I will do it.  It’s JUST THAT SIMPLE!

Categories: Hmmmmm........, Perspectives | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

So What If I Act Like A Hermit Crab?

hermit crabI like quiet!

I like not talking!

I like thinking!

I like observing!

I like reading!

I like working alone!

I like my alone time!

NO, I am NOT a leper!  NO, this is not “just a phase.” NO, I am not anti-social!  NO, I am not unhappy!  NO, crowds will NOT bring me “out of that shell”, matter of fact, crowds make me withdraw deeper into my shell.  NO, I am not avoiding you….well, perhaps I am but only if you are being loud and pushy.

Hear me very carefully…I’m an INTROVERT!  That just means I process internally (and quietly).  I have no need or desire to be gregarious.  I cringe at the thought of being expected to be the center of attention or life of the party.  In fact, MY idea of a great party is a gathering of my few closest friends (and I do NOT make friends easily), in a quiet setting.  I don’t require a horde of loud whooping Barbarians trying to yawp louder than the rest.  The friends I have are friends for life. For you see, I take friendship quite seriously.

In my youth, I was that one person everyone liked to have around because I would listen.  However, having been branded as that “Sweet Guy” or, worse, “That Nice Guy” pretty much doomed any role for me other than that of listener.  I admit that I was bitter and angry about having been shoved into that role, but time has passed and those who shoved me into that role still tend to seek me out to listen.  But the people who thought me to be that “Nice Guy” failed to understand (or take the time to inquire) that I am an Introvert and, though I am quiet and withdrawn, I have feelings.

I have come to accept my Introversion and have found my niche.  I am an observer of human interactions. Not in that Ice Cream Truck Pervy kind of way, rather I sit on the fringe of the group or party and observe how humans interact with each other.  Not much escapes my notice and I have found that humans have the same habits and interactions as Simians.

At a party for example, there is immediately a “sizing up” of the new arrivals.  The males of the group begin their puffing up and posturing, which is followed up by the exaggerated sports talk at a loud volume, which includes lots of alcohol consumption complete with belching, scratching, and the none-too-subtle “checking out” of the female attendees (And, of course, every female who is deemed desirable or attractive “wants me).  The loud sports talk includes such physical displays as pantomiming a particular sports play considered to have been outstanding. At some point the sports talk will drift into the “who’s got the coolest job” puffery.

The female attendees are not much better in their activities.  They immediately “size up” the new arrivals to judge them on their couture, make-up, hair, jewelry, and general physical appearance.  Yes, even the females judge each other by the size and perkiness of the bosoms, with such statements as: “Those CAN’T be real!” or “Someone’s bought a new set” or “That poor dear couldn’t nourish a mosquito, much less attract a REAL man.”  And, yes, though the females may hide (or think they are hiding) they scratch, pick, and adjust just like the males.

While I realize that these observations reveal stereotypes, the human works very hard trying to make other humans think they are not human.  I chuckle quietly to myself knowing that some other Introvert is most likely observing me.

But think of Introversion this way: “It is the rain that nourishes the grass, not the thunder!”  – Rumi

Categories: Hmmmmm........, Perspectives | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Let The Adventure Begin!

dangerous business stepping out

As you may or may not be aware, I have been existing in absentia from my pages for quite some time.  Call it a “Reflective Vacation”; Call it “Extended Contemplation”; Call it “lazy”….they are all, in some way, correct.  Having wearied of this self imposed exile, ’tis time to, once more, take up the virtual pen and release the mental horde upon this community.

Life is, in and of itself, a rather dull existence.  We sleep, wake, eat, work, eat, home, eat, only to start the routine all over again.  *sigh* How boring is that?  Why even bother?  Just the same old thing every day, day after day……after day……..after day……until we realize that we are dead and have the courtesy to lie down.

Where’s the adventure?  Didn’t the brochure at birth promise us limitless adventure?  Mine also advertised fun filled relaxing holidays in an all inclusive package where I get to sit on the beach all day (baking in the sun, getting all sweaty and sand covered) whilst people whom I have never met bring me drinks of varying colors, textures, and alcohol contents.

Here’s the fact of the matter: If you want an adventure in life, then get off the couch and out of the chair!  Remove yourself from your comfort zone and step outside.  Adventure awaits the Adventurous!

Want an adventure? Go to Walmart at 3:00am wearing a rubber chicken costume.  Or go to the zoo dressed as Tarzan.  Or swim in the ocean with raw meat strapped to you.  How about starting a conversation with someone you don’t know?  Perhaps as you walk through your day make it a point to smile and speak to everyone you meet?  Better yet, do a random act of niceness and do it anonymously with no possible way for anyone to know you are the perpetrator.

Adventures don’t have to include spiders, snakes, and assassins!  Adventures are what you find to be adventurous!

Categories: Wandering Mind | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

I’ve Reached The Point

You are hereFor some reason, I found myself in a contemplative mood this afternoon.  The thoughts dinking about my mind were becoming annoying, rather like a dripping spigot with the drops striking a metal basin. 

Reaching the milestone age of One Day After Yesterday is quite the achievement. And to celebrate, I decided to take an inventory, of sorts, of my life thus far.

I am, quite literally, twice the man I was at 16.  More solidly built, sacrificing speed, yet still sturdy.  The hair is a completely different story, being that it vacates the premises with alarming regularity and speed.  But I must admit, grass does have difficulty taking root on an active playground.

My memory is becoming somewhat “iffy” due to my inability to remember due to…..let’s go with “all the wisdom that has taken up residence in my mind.” It sounds better than “I just forgot what I was writing.”

I have reached the point in life where I dread going to the doctor, not so much for the news that I need to exercise more and stop enjoying bacon, but because it is increasingly difficult for me to take seriously this advice having come from a lengthy heritage of bacon enjoyers.

A few things I have learned in my sojourn here….

  • Asparagus will eternally be evil.
  • Nap Time should not be limited to children.
  • Chocolate does cure a multitude of moods.
  • Coffee is a necessity, moreso than pants.
  • It is ALWAYS good form to be polite.
  • What you don’t know might actually kill you, but you won’t know it.
  • We try far too much to achieve far too much without considering the things we must sacrifice.
  • No, you cannot have it all.
  • There is a difference between a “mistake” and an “error.”  A mistake can be fixed with an eraser. An error needs an apology (sincere and immediate).
  • If you strive for perfection, you will live your life in great disappointment.
  • Flowers smell nice for a reason. Slow down and smell them once in a while.
  • True friends are rare gifts. If you want one, BE one.
  • Dance with all your heart.
  • Never forget what it feels like to laugh!
  • Love is a treasured mode of travel, not a momentary destination.
  • You are only allowed one breath at a time. So make every breath count.
  • Every day is building your legacy, make sure it is a legacy worth remembering.

Tomorrow is another milestone on this journey.

Categories: Fortress of Solitude, Hmmmmm........, Koffee Klatch, Perspectives, Wanderer's Wonderings, Wandering Mind | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Shush! I’m Thinking Here!

As a youngster, people annoyed me.  When it came time to go to the play yard, I would find some out of the way place and read.  My parents and teachers thought I had a mental problem or had anti-social tendencies.  I, on the other hand, while not realizing at the time I was introvertish, simply didn’t like all the noise and activity. It made me tired, and gave me a headache, and, quite honestly, just prefer the exercise of my mind. 

While I don’t claim to know or understand all the physiological, mental, spiritual, emotional, or complete oddness of introversion, I do acknowledge that “I Are One”.  During social gatherings a plan is developed and put in place almost as complicated as Mission Impossible.  While there’s no secret, self destructing mission messages, there is a cooperative effort amongst a close band of friends that is triggered upon the issuance and acceptance of the obligatory social activity invitation.

A pre-arranged time is set for our departure strategy.  This will usually be no later than 90 -120 minutes into the soiree.  At the predetermined time, the chosen individual will pocket dial the rest of us, or develop some sort of distress (stress of these situations does this), or we will step out for some air and slip away.  We will make a point to thank our host, upon our arrival, for inviting us. 

Admittedly, during company dinners, this strategy is not easily employed, but we tend to arrive early to select our seats near the exit so we can make discretionary escapes to the lobby and/or lavatory as needed.  Having a bar in the lobby is quite helpful until the bartender gets tired of our escaping there.

I happened upon a wonderful book by Sophia Dembling called “The Introvert’s Way” (shameless plug that I don’t get any royalties for), and upon reading it, saw my own life habits in her words.  Needless to say, it is always good to know that Introverts are not alone, even though we like to spend time alone.  There should be a club where we each have our own soundproof cube and can all be alone together.

Anyway, where was I going with this?  Oh yeah, a few things about introverts I have learned:

  • Introverts are weird, not psychotic.
  • Introverts recharge our minds by being quiet and processing.
  • Introverts can sit together for hours without speaking more than 3 sentences.
  • Introverts ARE social, just not in the way some might think.
  • Introverts have an incredible sense of humor, albeit sometimes subtle and dry.
  • Introverts enjoy having coffee conversations (if you talk with coffee in your mouth it will burn and stain, so the silence pockets are greatly desired).


Please do not take offense, but I am one of those insane people who believe libraries are for reading, not chatting or eating or engaging in various amorous activities in the reference sections.  If you have the need to smack or pop your chewing gum, rattle your candy wrappers, or have a nasal ailment, please step to the restroom and deal with that, as a courtesy.

Which brings me to another question: Why are the wrappers for foodstuffs always so loud? 

Anyway, that’s what has been meandering between my ears for now.  Feel free to ponder at will.



Categories: Fortress of Solitude, Hmmmmm........, Koffee Klatch, Perspectives, Wanderer's Wonderings, Wandering Mind | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

Just A Wee Bit Odd


I think I have shared before that I have some rather unique friends, and again, yes, I DO have friends.  A wide spectrum of them. Some of them are even quite intelligent.

The other day, a discussion of odd conversation starters seemed to leap from somewhere occupied by drunken trolls.  Here are some of the kinder ones that came to topic:

     *  If a rock falls down the mountainside and no one is there to witness it, can a woman apply mascara with a closed mouth?

     *  Wouldn’t truly evaporated milk be a gas?

     * If a burger was truly made of ham, what would it be called?

     *  Is it possible to be cornered in a rotunda?

     *  Why don’t ghosts fall through the floor if they can pass through walls without effort?

     *  If Pinocchio said, “My nose is about to grow”, what would happen?

     *  Are your hands always so sweaty?

     *  Your earrings are beautiful, may I have one?

     *  Guess what I found in the neighbor’s medicine cabinet?

Some of my friends can come off as a bit on the weird (creepy weird) sort of way, but with a wider spectrum of associates, the more “normal” I appear to be.

Categories: Hmmmmm........, Koffee Klatch, Perspectives, Wanderer's Wonderings, Wandering Mind | Tags: , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments



We go puttering through our day set on maintaining our schedules, appointments, meetings, and activities.  We are glued to our watches, cellphones, tablets, gadgets and gizmos.  We must remain connected!  We have to be in constant contact with our social group.  The one with the largest set of contacts is somehow deemed the most important?  Why? Would it not be much less strenuous to have a few close friends than to have a myriad of contacts you wouldn’t leave alone in your house for the weekend? 

 But my mind has begun zookling about like a monkey stuck in a banana field. We spend so much time trying to add to our social register, that we forget what it is to be human sometimes.  I overheard a young person (“young” being rather relative) boasting that they had over 1000 Facebook friends.  Which made me wonder how many of these “friends” has actually taken the time to talk to face-to-face over coffee or if there has been ANY meaningful communication between them.

 We are becoming calloused toward one another.  I saw on the news one night that a crime had been committed which left one person severely injured from the beating by their attacker.  Sadly, no one came to the victim’s aid because they were recording the incident on their cell phones.  Seriously?  Have we ceased to care about people? Is being “popular” REALLY that important?

 We’re becoming more like a ship out of water.  Not of much good except as a place for seagulls to poop.


Categories: Hmmmmm........, Koffee Klatch, Perspectives, Wanderer's Wonderings | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

Tidbits of Insanity

I had the opportunity to poke about, peruse if you will, just some general wandering through the darkened corners and alleyways of the rest stops along the information highway.  It’s really amazing what one can find in the dustbins amongst the rotting banana peels, half eaten sandwiches, and partially consumed coffee (with floating cigarette butts).  But here are a few tidbits I managed to save from the horde of cockroaches:

  1. Edgar Alan Poe was kicked out of West Point in 1831 after showing up for inspection stark naked.  One a side note here: This one brought to mind the clip from Full Metal Jacket “This is my rifle, This is my gun!”
  2. The longest word that can be spelled forward or backward and remain the same is: REDIVIDER
  3. The longest word that can be made using a single like of keyboard keys is: TYPEWRITER
  4. When exiting a cave, a bat will always turn left.  Whether it’s Albuquerque or not.
  5. Camels have three eyelids to protect them from the desert sands.
  6. Months where the first falls on a Sunday will always have a Friday the 13th.
  7. All the clock in Pulp Fiction are stuck on 4:20. Even a clock that has stopped will tell the right time twice a day (unless it’s digital).
  8. Eyes are the same size since birth, but the ears and nose continue to grow. YIKES!
  9. Hitler and Napoleon had only one testicle. Which might account for their bad moods.
  10. Males enter puberty around age 10 and do not actually REACH maturity until 6 months after death.

See? I told you there was quite the smorgasbord along the highways and dirt roads of the informational thoroughfare.  Next time, perhaps, I should take a trolley.  Much less distracting.

Categories: Koffee Klatch | Tags: , , , , , , , , , | 32 Comments

Unless You’re An Elephant…..

Think about all the places you’ve traveled in your lifetime thus far….all the experiences you’ve had (good and not-so-good).  Here’s a little factoid that we seldom think about, but let’s, for a moment, take a bit of a detour from our tromping about this earth and focus on what you’re carrying with you.
Did you know that every single experience, whether we consciously realize it or not, has shaped us?  As we march through our lives we take our experiences and relationships, tuck them into the great steamer trunk of our mind, and trundle on to the next station.  Think for a bit……is it time for you to go through your trunk and, perhaps, unload a few souvenirs? 

     Sometimes we merely need to rifle through and toss a few things out to make room for new goodies. 

     Sometimes we might have to do a touch more of a surgical removal of some things (and gangrenous some people). 
     Then there are the odd occasions when we must go all “Texas Chainsaw Massacre” on some because they just refuse to let go (clingy bits of issues can create a whole web of poison).

Here’s some advice that I would give to anyone and everyone:

  • “Watch were you go when you go.  In nature, snakes tend to get pissed off when they get pissed on.” 
And the OTHER piece of advice would be,
  • “Take time to take inventory.  Unload what’s weighing you down, hunching you over, or just making your head hurt.”

Life is too brief a play to carry about a great trunkful.  That is, unless you’re an elephant with a head cold.

Categories: Perspectives | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 16 Comments

Living Passionately Award

It’s one thing to live simply, yet a completely different set of dishes to simply live!  We spend so much of our time going through the motions of:

  • work,
  • go home,
  • eat,
  •  sleep,
  •  kill the alarm clock,
  • feed the dog,
  • gesture rudely on our commute,

only to do it again and again….day after day……year after year. And for what?  A paycheck?  I agree it IS important to pay our own way through this saunter through sanity, but what about living truly.  What about being passionate?

Have you ever seen someone and wondered “What’s it like in their mind?” I have.  I’ve wondered that about some of the people I’ve seen whilst people watching (again…..not in that stalkery way), while I enjoy coffee (which is FREQUENTLY), and even wondered that about some of you. Before you go all paranoid ninja on me, let me explain…..I read your words, look at the pictures you paint with them, I look at the photos you post, and I wonder “What are they REALLY like?”

So I came up with an award for those I perceive as living passionate lives (aka Adding Color To Life)!

And, yes, there are rules:

  1. Take a deep breath
  2. Think about who you’d like to pass this on to
  3. Do something weird and out of the ordinary today. (NO, that doesn’t NOT include drinking my coffee!)
  4. Post the award someplace conspicuous…..the underside of the hamper lid, inside of the lav door, at the bottom of the bird cage.

So……… The VERY FIRST nominees are:

  1. DOC

Oh yeah, the award.  Sorry, where IS my mind.  Of course……it’s in that jar on the top shelf.


Now….GO FORTH AND STALK THE WINNERS!!!  Leave wonderful comments on their writings.  Perhaps invite them to tea. But don’t just sit there…..LIVE!!!

Categories: Koffee Klatch | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 25 Comments

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