Posts Tagged With: live

I’m Just Weird That Way

Bacony Bacon

I have tried.  I have tried many times, and have failed miserably each time.  I like to eat. I’m just weird that way.  I like to eat and I’m not ashamed to say it.

The issue I have with so called “nutrition plans” is that I am a simple guy.  The plans I have seen require that you calculate more equations than a physicist trying to define string theory!

  • How many carbs did you have?
  • Were they good carbs or bad carbs?
  • How many good carbs versus bad carbs?
  • Did you exercise today?
  • How many steps did you take?
  • How fast were you stepping?
  • How much protein is in that salad?
  • Did you have cheese on that salad?
  • Thank you for posting the picture of the salad.  Is that BACON I see on your salad?
  • Did you eat it?
  • Did you eat ALL of it?
  • Did it make you feel dirty?
  • How dirty?
  • What were you wearing?

You see how these things can degrade into something other than helpful.

As I said, I am a simple guy, and I like simple food.  I eat salad.  No onions, peppers, or dressing.  I like cheeseburgers without condiments or vegetables added.  The only condiment I use with any regularity is black pepper.  I like rice, most beans, lentils, barley, beef, most pork, chicken, and some fish.  I am from the Southern United States and, yes, buttery grits, eggs and bacon with biscuits are staples.  I don’t mind oatmeal though.

The difficulty I have with changing my eating habits is everyone has a different plan and they are all “easy” (like hemorrhoids) and want me to STOP eating most of the things I like and START eating things I wouldn’t feed a pig.  Let me be very blunt: If I don’t like it, I will NOT be putting it in my mouth! End of story.

Why can’t someone come up with an eating plan that actually takes inventory of what I like to eat, and make a plan from that list?  Is that REALLY so hard?

Cookie-cutter eating plans do NOT work for me and the Energizer Bunny types who push their plans or “Eating Systems” annoy me enough to want to see them fall into a hole liked with barbed wire!

Keep it simple or shut up!

 

 

Rant over for now.

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Resolutions? Really!

resolutions

It’s that time of year again.  That time when we take a look at our lives and decide to make changes in the coming year.  It is a pointless exercise for most of us because we very quickly lose momentum, get distracted, or just forget what we resolved to accomplish altogether.

So why do we resolve to make changes when we have failed again and again to the point that we just shrug our shoulder, laugh and say “Well, there’s always next year”?

Here is a bit of wisdom that I have garnered regarding Resolutions:

  1. Change cannot be contradictory. If you are determined to lose weight, go to the gym, stress less, and spend more time with family, then, while all these SOUND wonderful in and of themselves, they are really quite self-defeating.  Losing weight requires dietary changes and exercise changes.  Change CREATES stress!  And stress tends to cause us to isolate ourselves from our families.  Not to mention you will have the fitness gurus screaming at you that “It’s EASY IF YOU JUST TRY!” or the ever famous “If I can do it, YOU can do it!”.  Ever notice that most of the fitness gurus who do most of the screaming and wielding of the guilt stick are the ones who are thin and have the energy of the Eveready Bunny?  Very seldom do you have people who are just as out of shape as you are asking to become part of a team so you can lose weight together.  Hmmmmm….
  2. Change must be achievable.  Let’s say, for the sake of argument, that one of my resolutions is to eat healthier.  Sounds good, but what does “healthier” really look like?  Does that mean I go from eating cheeseburgers every day to nibbling on celery instead?  Yeah, THAT resolution will last.  Set goals that are achievable.  Healthier eating might mean you have salad instead of fries and drink two bottles of water for every soda you consume.
  3. Change must be enjoyable. I have people in my life who are dead set on setting my changes for me.  Not only that, but they never miss an opportunity to remind me of the changes THEY have “encouraged” me to make.  Here’s the way change works for me, if I don’t like it, I won’t do it.  This applies to eating habits, exercise habits, work habits, any change I need to make.  If it feels like slavery, that change will not last long and I will become resentful of those pushing me.
  4. Change works best as a team.  This is true in pretty much any format.  Get a bunch of people who are pretty much in the same situation and you have a team.  If the team sets a goal, then the team can make the goal a reality.  Encouraging each other, being accountable to each other, working together, pretty much any goal can be realized.
  5. Change will only happen when I make a plan I can stick to. I am NOT a morning person by ANY stretch of the imagination.  I have absolutely NO inclination to drag myself out of bed before daylight so I can go to the gym and torture myself while my brain is trying to make my body die so rest can be had.  So if my resolution is to get to the gym, then I must make a plan to do it.  Therefore, I can go to the gym instead of stuffing pizza in my face at lunch, or I can go when I hit that mid afternoon slump and just need a think.  If I make a plan that my mind can work with, the resolution can become a reality.
  6. Change can only work if you are willing to forgive yourself.  When we start making changes, we’re going to slip up!  We’re going to miss a day at the gym.  We’re going to indulge our craving for meat once in a while.  But if we beat ourselves up over these slip-ups, or worse let others beat us up over them, the guilt will destroy any hope of lasting change.  If we mess up, okay, we messed up….get back on track and try to make the time a little longer before we mess up again.
  7. Change can only happen if it is realistic.  We’ve all heard the fantastic claims by the “Healthy Eating/Exercise” companies who peddle their powders and machines and supplements and “systems.”  They all claim that you can have the body you always wanted in just a few months if you will only go broke, sign over your life, and surrender everything to them (and if you help generate more followers of their cult, you can “get rich” too).  Listen, the body I have always wanted is currently being occupied by someone else who doesn’t know I exist, so let’s just put that puppy to rest.  The body I currently have could use a bit of renovation, but nothing drastic.  After all, Rome wasn’t rebuilt in a day or a month or even a year.

Hopefully you will join me in welcoming the new year with realistic, achievable resolutions!

Categories: Hmmmmm........, Perspectives | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Those Aren’t My Pants, Officer!

Businessman Hiding Face Not My Fault

A 38 year-old male lives in a small camper trailer in his mother’s driveway, has no job, doesn’t not want to do anything with his life, and tells his mother that it’s NOT his fault because he’s disabled.  Now before judgement is passed, understand that this claim of being “disabled” is a recent claim he has made and there is no documentation or substantiation to this claim.  Prior to this sudden revelation, he would get a part time job, keep it for about 6 months and suddenly “lose” the job through, amazingly, no fault of his own and then he would collect unemployment.  Once unemployment ran out, the cycle would repeat itself over and over and over for 20 years.  But nothing is his fault!

We are very good at declaring, and believing, that nothing is our fault, that we bear no responsibility for any of our actions or words.  The liar is not responsible for his lies, no matter who they hurt or whose reputation or life is destroyed, because he claims it’s not his fault he spoke without checking the truth.

The drunk driver who kills someone claims it’s not his fault because the bar served him the alcohol or because his mommy and daddy never taught him the difference between right and wrong.

If we are truly not responsible for our deeds and words then who is?

Here’s what I witnessed when I went as a civilian ridealong with one of my friends who is a police officer.  A young male was pulled over for a traffic violation (failure to stop at a stop sign).  The officer approached the car (while I stayed put in the car watching the dash cam recording).  The officer stated that there is the strong smell of marijuana and alcohol coming from the car and asks the young man to exit the vehicle.  The young man gets out, the officer does a “pat down” to check for weapons but finds almost 1/4 of a pound bag of marijuana in the young man’s front pocket.  The following conversation ensued:

Officer: “Is this yours?”

Young Man:“Dude, ain’t never seen that before! These ain’t even my pants.”

Officer: “Not your pants? Then whose are they?”

Young Man: “Dude, I was at a party and when I got ready to hit the road I just picked them up and put them on.”

Officer: “But you don’t know whose pants these are?”

Young Man: “No Sir! I have NO idea whose pants these are or how that weed got in my pocket.”

Officer: “So they’re not your pants but the pockets are yours?”

Young Man: “Nah Man! Ain’t my pants!”

Officer: “Help me out here…you went to a party where pants are not allowed or were you there as a male stripper or what kind of party was it?”

Young Man: “Nah man! These are my cousin’s pants.  Yeah, these are my cousin’s pants.”

Officer: “What’s your cousin’s name?”

Young Man: “Ah man, I don’t know her name!”

Officer: “So you’re wearing ladies pants?”

This conversation went on for half an hour until another officer came on scene to assist.  Eventually, it was discovered that the name tag sewn into the waistband of the pants was the same name as the young man and the same name on the ID card he had provided.  But the young man continued to blame everyone else for his actions instead of stepping up and taking responsibility.

When I was growing up, my Dad taught me very early on that if I did something wrong, I needed to take responsibility for it.  If I did it, and took responsibility for it, the punishment (which was painful) would be a LOT less than if I lied about it.  Granted, I had to learn this lesson the hard way, but it only took once.

Yet taking responsibility for our words and deeds is still something our society refuses to accept.  We love playing the “Blame Game.”

 

Categories: Hmmmmm........, Perspectives | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Time….It’s What You Make Of It

clocks

Truly it is an amazing, and often astounding, sight to see people rushing through their lives completely oblivious to everything except their electronic devices and their schedules.  You see, time is a continuum whilst our lives are momentary snapshots of that continuum.

This is a lesson I learned many years ago when I chose to spend my time reading a book, and one of my professors happened by and commented on my “wasting time” in reading a tome that sparked my brain to think.  I like to think.  I embrace it wholeheartedly.  Never have I thought that thinking was a waste of time because time does not change or alter its stream for me or anything I am doing.

Granted, there are scenes in life’s grand play where time seems to stand still….like waiting to be called from the big waiting room in the doctor’s office to the little waiting room (which is also called the “exam room”).  Then what happens?  Time goes into warp drive when the doctor comes him, spends a total of 4 minutes diagnosing you and off you go back into the stream of time.

As a child, I thought Christmas Eve made time stand still so Santa could make all of his deliveries by Christmas morning.  I didn’t, for one moment, believe Santa could go all over the world in a single night, so time HAD to stand still for him to accomplish such a Herculean Task.

There are those who say that Time is relative.  Well, I can assure you that time is no relative of mine.  My relatives are a rather gregarious mob, with a couple of introverted members, who enjoy raucous laughter and stories to embarrass the rest of us.

But think about this, why do we wear watches?  So we know what time it is.  Why do we need to know what time it is?  Because we have very busy schedules.  Sadly, those schedules have not slowed in the least, despite advances in technology.  And why do those people who can afford the latest technological gadgets always smile?  Also, what do they do that they can always afford the latest technological marvel?

But, you see, time never speeds up nor does it slow down.  Time always moves forward.

Illusion

My question to you is this, Gentle Reader, during your time swimming in the stream of time, what shall you do to make it memorable?

Categories: Hmmmmm........, Wanderer's Wonderings | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Are You SERIOUS?

Homer on a treadmill

Just so you know, I have nothing against people enjoying exercise.  No….seriously…..I’m not kidding…..I have nothing against people who enjoy exercise.  I DO have a problem with the subset of those people who:  1) talk about nothing but the gym. 2) Bash those of us who chose to not spend every waking moment at the gym, thinking about the gym, or have habits and hobbies NOT gym related. 3) Sell those supplements, food replacement shakes and products.  They hit you with the sales pitch like a shark goes after a seal!

Now you must understand, coffee and I have QUITE the love affair which has endured for all of my adult life.  However, one of those rabid salespeople pitching Advocare gets bent out of shape each time I mention coffee or have coffee.  She starts barking like a chihuahua: “You need SPARK!  Try SPARK! Drink SPARK! SPARK! SPARK! SPARK!”  And to listen to this person, Advocare apparently has the cure for every single ailment and condition.  Overweight?  Buy and use nothing but Advocare products and you will have the body you always wanted in no time!  How do they know what body I’ve always wanted?

Okay, my doctor did mention that I could stand to lose some weight and getting some exercise would be a good thing.  I get it.  But I have no inclination to become a gym-rat, not do I have any desire to have a body that will take a lot of maintenance and upkeep.  I am built for comfort and I like that.  I will exercise to lose some weight and to help with cholesterol (which Advocare seems to have the perfect product for which will only cost you four month’s salary), but I refuse to become so fanatic about working out and weight loss.

The salesperson for Advocare I was describing earlier gave me a price list with her “discount” already applied and my response was, “Are you SERIOUS? Are the delivery boxes big enough for my family and I to live in? Because if I get this “plan” you’re pushing, I won’t be able to live anywhere BUT in a box!”  And she had the gall to tell me that she was offended.  Needless to say, I am not one of her customers and we are still friends, and she keeps plugging for me to get with the program.  Ahh…one has got to admire the Multi-Level Marketing people who can get others to go after customers like a rabid honey badger in a bad mood.

Let me be clear….aggressive sales tactics are the absolute WRONG approach if you want me to consider your products.

 

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Dare I Say It?

I'm OFFENDED!“That’s Offensive!”

“I’m Offended!”

Why are we wasting so much time and energy looking for reasons to be offended?  Why are we burning up so much of our limited time on this orb being offended (with the marching and the shouting and the rioting and the burning and the general mayhem with accompanying chaos)?

  • People get offended because of a flag.
  • People get offended by the people who are offended by a flag.
  • People are offended by something their ancestors endured.
  • People are offended by those who are offended by something their ancestors endured.
  • People are offended because they are expected to follow the law.
  • People are offended because those enforcing the law didn’t bring them warm milk and cookies and coddle them.
  • People get offended because someone said a word.
  • People get offended because they think they have every right to be offensive.

We waste SO MUCH of our lives either offending or being offended and being angry about it!  Can ANYONE change history? NOPE!   Can anyone change their skin pigmentation? Possibly, but at great financial expense.  Can anyone un-say anything they have said?  Nope!  Can anyone undo what has been done? Nope.

People yell, shout, scream, and demand “justice” when they really want revenge!  People yell, scream, shout, and demand “equality” and “unity” yet they are not willing to stop being divisive.

Let’s be honest: the life is NOT fair!  Never has been and never will be. We are divided because we CHOOSE to be divisive!  If we want to be a united culture then we have got to stop being divisive and start being courteous and respectful toward each other.  We have got to learn to let go of the things we cannot change.

We can only move forward from THIS point in time!  We cannot move forward if we continue to focus on what’s behind us.  Learn from history, learn that cooperation DOES work, and learn to move forward in cooperation!

Think about this:  If you take 10 people and give each of them $1M.  Within three generations, at least half of them will be broke (or in debt). And about 1% will be the wealthiest among the group (by fair means or foul).  Why? Because we focus more on the MONEY instead of the PEOPLE!

But that’s just my two cents worth.

And, by the way, I am offended that the symbol for cents is not found on my computer keyboard while the $ symbol is very clearly placed.

Categories: Koffee Klatch, Perspectives, Wanderer's Wonderings | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

It’s The Little Things

small kindnessIt’s the little things that reveal the true character of a person.  Believe me not? Consider this, you are exhausted from manual labor; you are sweaty and stink; you have lines in the dirt on your face where the salt from you sweat has left a trail; your breathing is labored and your whole body aches.  Then two people come by…the first is your boss who greets you with “Take off an hour early so you can rest up to get a jump on this in the morning.”  The second person pulls up in a large pick-up truck with the bed full of ice and cold bottles of water for you.  Which small act would you most appreciate?

Consider this: when we do things to be seen or just for a photo-op or just for the Facebook post likes, what good is that other than self-aggrandizement?  It is in the small acts of kindness that we reveal ourselves.

During the flooding in Columbia, South Carolina this past week, I witnessed many grand gestures and have noticed how many people post photo after photo of themselves “helping in the community.”  Truly?  You want everyone to believe your acts that you had photographed and posted were completely altruistic? In my mind, it would be better if you just stayed home and out of the way!

I saw one young boy who looked about age 4 or 5 walk up to one of the First Responders and gave them his juicebox he had just gotten from the Red Cross Truck, and then he hugged that humongous firefighter’s leg.  Let me tell you something, that enormous man who would not hesitate to run into danger, broke down and cried because of this one simple act of kindness by a child who wanted nothing in return.

Small acts of Appreciated Kindness:

  • buy coffee for the person behind you without telling them.
  • send a Thank You Card to someone because they helped you out.
  • give someone a hug who could use one.
  • smile at someone who normally doesn’t smile.
  • If you see someone reading…don’t start talking to them…let them enjoy the peace and quiet.
  • how about the simple act of saying “Thank You”

It really isn’t expensive or difficult.  It just takes a little time and effort.  Give it a try!  Reveal your true self by your actions!

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Simplicity

simple is profoundConfucious has been credited with saying: “Life is simple. It is we who complicate it.”  Think about life for a moment.  What does it truly consist of?  Taking in oxygen, Ingesting nourishment, Expelling waste.  That is life!  Everything else we add are mere complications which will eventually lead to a complicated and often overwhelming life.

Consider this: You need to travel from point A to point B.  Is it REALLY necessary that you have the most luxurious mode of transportation?  NO! Absolutely not!

Okay, let’s try another one: You have some personal items to carry with you (keys, money, etc.), do you REALLY need a $2000 handbag to carry it?  Absolutely not!

One more:You decide to go for a walk.  Do you REALLY need $200 in walking apparel, $300 walking shoes, and the $7 bottle of water to go for  walk?  NO!

We spend so much time convincing ourselves that these complications, while convenient and comfortable, are necessities when they are absolutely NOT!  You can get from point A to point B by walking, by bicycle, by burro, or just not go at all.  You can carry your personal items in pockets, a lunch pail, or a flour sack.  You can go for a walk in sandals or barefoot, our ancestors did it for quite a number of years.

When will we stop complicating our lives and start simplifying life?

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Courtesy And Respect Rant

courtesyCourtesy….no something that is so commonplace any longer.  As an observer of human interactions, I have the opportunity to….well…..observe human interactions.  I was at a coffee shop yesterday, and watched how many people either held the door for the person behind them or held the door so the person behind them could enter first.  Out of 75 people…only 3 held the door.  I did count 17 people who pushed ahead of others to reach the door first (after all, they must surely be more important than anyone else).

What happened to courtesy?  Did it get frustrated and walk away?  Did it become depressed and jumped off a bridge?  Has courtesy become so leprous that it no longer is welcomed?

If someone gives you a ride, do you tell them “Thank You” or is that too much trouble or is the fact that they GAVE you a ride when they didn’t have to just too inconvenient for a response?

If someone allows you to stay in their home with them so you can get your life together, is it asking too much that you behave with courtesy and respect? Or does the fact that they allow you to stay in their home an “entitlement” which they somehow “owe” you, but you are going to do whatever you want and they are going to just have to deal with it and accept it?

I have witnessed these type of discourteous behaviors over and over.  They disgust me!

  • Sincere courtesy shows that you are both respectful and respectable!
  • Being courteous shows that you are a grateful and thankful person, understanding that the things you have to be grateful and thankful for are not owed to you, rather are courtesies.
  • Being courteous and respectful will pave a lot of potholes in an otherwise damaged interaction.
  • Being respectful and courteous can extend the acts for which you are being grateful and thankful for.

Bottom Line: If you want courtesy, be courteous! And, like unto it, If you want respect, be respectful!

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Perspective…It’s All In How You Look At It!

perspectiveMany years ago, when textbooks were written on stone tablets, my Philosophy Professor shared with us a story.

One brilliant professor decided to gather all of his colleagues from across the world for a symposium where they would pose a question and then share their wisdom, knowledge, intellect, and show the world why they were so brilliant.  So he issued invitations which included the question to be discussed: “If you found yourself stranded on an island, what single would you want?”

The Symposium began and each scholar was to present their conclusion to the premise and the others would discuss the answer in order to determine which would be the most brilliant answer to be presented to showcase the amassed intellect.  One professor boldly declared that he would need all of his books, in order to keep his mind occupied for the rest of his life.  Another shouted him down stating that he would need his wine collection in order to maintain some semblance of civilization.  While yet another proclaimed that the only possible answer would be endless delicacies, after all, one needs to eat and should be able to dine well.

Before long the discussion went from simple to ludicrous to bizarre to over-the-top extravagance in which only a mansion of purest polished marble with priceless furnishings and gardens with fountains and endless luxuries would be required in order to survive on this island.

During this Symposium, Wilhelm the Janitor, had been sweeping and emptying the trash in each room in the building.  The conference auditorium was the last one in the building so he waited patiently for these learned men to finish their discussion so he could clean up.  The hosting Professor, thinking to have a bit of fun, told Wilhelm that if he had a better answer than anyone else, then the Professors would do the cleaning for him for the rest of their lives.  Wilhelm agreed.

The professor could hardly contain his smirk, and the others chuckled none too quietly, as Wilhelm was asked the question: “If you found yourself stranded on an island, what single would you want?” Wilhelm, without batting an eye, answered: “To be rescued.”

You see, we tend to take that which is simple and complicate it by taking it to extremes it was never meant to experience.  Perspective is all in how you look at life.

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