Posts Tagged With: simple

I’m Just Weird That Way

Bacony Bacon

I have tried.  I have tried many times, and have failed miserably each time.  I like to eat. I’m just weird that way.  I like to eat and I’m not ashamed to say it.

The issue I have with so called “nutrition plans” is that I am a simple guy.  The plans I have seen require that you calculate more equations than a physicist trying to define string theory!

  • How many carbs did you have?
  • Were they good carbs or bad carbs?
  • How many good carbs versus bad carbs?
  • Did you exercise today?
  • How many steps did you take?
  • How fast were you stepping?
  • How much protein is in that salad?
  • Did you have cheese on that salad?
  • Thank you for posting the picture of the salad.  Is that BACON I see on your salad?
  • Did you eat it?
  • Did you eat ALL of it?
  • Did it make you feel dirty?
  • How dirty?
  • What were you wearing?

You see how these things can degrade into something other than helpful.

As I said, I am a simple guy, and I like simple food.  I eat salad.  No onions, peppers, or dressing.  I like cheeseburgers without condiments or vegetables added.  The only condiment I use with any regularity is black pepper.  I like rice, most beans, lentils, barley, beef, most pork, chicken, and some fish.  I am from the Southern United States and, yes, buttery grits, eggs and bacon with biscuits are staples.  I don’t mind oatmeal though.

The difficulty I have with changing my eating habits is everyone has a different plan and they are all “easy” (like hemorrhoids) and want me to STOP eating most of the things I like and START eating things I wouldn’t feed a pig.  Let me be very blunt: If I don’t like it, I will NOT be putting it in my mouth! End of story.

Why can’t someone come up with an eating plan that actually takes inventory of what I like to eat, and make a plan from that list?  Is that REALLY so hard?

Cookie-cutter eating plans do NOT work for me and the Energizer Bunny types who push their plans or “Eating Systems” annoy me enough to want to see them fall into a hole liked with barbed wire!

Keep it simple or shut up!

 

 

Rant over for now.

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Encourage Me…Don’t Tick Me Off!

Better Motivation

I need to lose some weight. And I need to move more…I get it.  Way back when I was in the Army, I didn’t have a problem with weight loss or moving more because we all moved as a squad.  Rather an “All for one and one for all” arrangement.  We encouraged each other and if one needed something we ALL took the burden on.

That was then.  I honestly miss those days quite a bit because that tight-knit group of comrades has long since gone their ways, have their own families, and lives.  So here I am trying to go it alone with the moving and the weightloss without their support.

I have begun changing some of my eating habits, mainly because I like simple foods.  By simple, I mean, as little effort as possible.  I eat my salads without dressing because I discovered that most of the fat content in the salads is found in the dressing, but mainly because I just don’t like salad dressing.  I opt not to use condiments, except for a pinch of salt or pepper, because I want to actually taste the FOOD not just have a mouthful of condiment guck!

I do have friends and family members who believe they are being helpful in their methods of “encouragement.”  While I do appreciate their desire to help me become healthier, their methods are reminiscent of Drill Sergeant Hartman from ‘Full Metal Jacket’ or they nag continuously.  Neither approach is what I consider encouraging because the only motivation I get from that is to let my stubborn bull-headedness dig in its heals and tune them out.

When I was with my Squadmates, we all started in the same basic shape of, in military terms: “out of.”  Together, we began from basically the same starting point, and together we worked our weight down and our shape in.  And it worked perfectly, like a greased herd of hogs through the arms of the catchers at a County Fair were we.

Now I am older and my job requires little movement because it involves mostly brain work and listening.  And I honestly admit that I have become “comfortable” with my life.  I like SIMPLE!

I have people trying to show me how to count calories and then count the calories of proteins, carbs, fats, sugars, measure cholesterol intake, waste output, multiply it by .247 times the distance from the Sun to Uranus, swing that flaming mossy branch over the smelly shoe inserts……you get how my mind finds this quite overly complicated.  I like SIMPLE!  By “SIMPLE” I mean: I like it, I eat it, I’m done!  Don’t complicate things, just fix it and be done!

This is why I am NOT a nutritionist.  Nor am I an exercise nut.  I am willing to walk as long as I enjoy doing it.  When it becomes a chore, I stop.  NO! I’m not all gung-ho about pushing myself.  Yes, I realize I am going to die, at some point, because we ALL do.  So guilt no longer works on me; pushing no longer works on me; nagging no longer works on me.

If I like it, I will eat it.  If I like it, I will do it.  It’s JUST THAT SIMPLE!

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Simplicity

simple is profoundConfucious has been credited with saying: “Life is simple. It is we who complicate it.”  Think about life for a moment.  What does it truly consist of?  Taking in oxygen, Ingesting nourishment, Expelling waste.  That is life!  Everything else we add are mere complications which will eventually lead to a complicated and often overwhelming life.

Consider this: You need to travel from point A to point B.  Is it REALLY necessary that you have the most luxurious mode of transportation?  NO! Absolutely not!

Okay, let’s try another one: You have some personal items to carry with you (keys, money, etc.), do you REALLY need a $2000 handbag to carry it?  Absolutely not!

One more:You decide to go for a walk.  Do you REALLY need $200 in walking apparel, $300 walking shoes, and the $7 bottle of water to go for  walk?  NO!

We spend so much time convincing ourselves that these complications, while convenient and comfortable, are necessities when they are absolutely NOT!  You can get from point A to point B by walking, by bicycle, by burro, or just not go at all.  You can carry your personal items in pockets, a lunch pail, or a flour sack.  You can go for a walk in sandals or barefoot, our ancestors did it for quite a number of years.

When will we stop complicating our lives and start simplifying life?

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Life? Really?

no sportsI know many will hate me.  The Torch & Pitchfork Society may even go so far as to run rampant through the towns and villages raping, pillaging, burning, screaming, and causing lots of chaos and mayhem simply because I don’t like sports.  And before the exaggerated melodrama begins, I have never said that I am ANTI-SPORTS! I merely point out that I, personally, do not like sports.

This morning I was attempting to put together a list of classical music for an upcoming wedding using YouTube as the preview.  EVERY SINGLE video began with a commercial for Sportscenter!  EVERY SINGLE ONE!!!  It’s as if every single sporting event must be preceded by seemingly endless analysis and commentary about every single player and every single game they have played (regardless of how many decades ago it took place).  Then there is the game, which is crammed with lots of advertisements packed with sports euphemisms, followed by more commentary during this “brief break” in which OTHER sporting events are analyzed, then back to the game which is filled with more commentaries, replays, commentaries on the replays, replays of the replays, commentaries on the commentaries of the replays of replays…..and on and on and on and on.  All the while, rabid fans rage, spend untold gazillions of dollars (which could be used to actually HELP people, fix roads, repair schools, pay teachers, etc.), guzzle oceans of beer, eat tons of food that would kill an rampaging rhinoceros, followed by the mayhem of the winning team’s fans leaving destruction and havoc in their wake should their team win a coveted championship.  Heaven forbid if the Apocalypse occurs on “game day” because there will be zillions of really pissed off fans whose entire existence hinges on every game.

I am not a sports fan.  Plain and simple.  I will watch a game if it is on (with the exception of golf or figure skating which render me unconscious at the mere thought of being exposed to them), but I don’t track statistics in any way shape or form.  If the team I like wins….huzzah.  If it doesn’t…..better luck next time.  I am off to actually learn something useful, thank you very much. Please keep the noise and chaos to a dull roar.

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Do You Fear The Simple Things?

Don't Fear The Simple Things!

Remember…

…playing in the puddles after a hard rain

…laughing so hard that you snort

…the mustaches after drinking chocolate milk

…the smile of a child

…feeling the wind

…your first kiss

…the smile of your first love

…the warmth of someone’s hand around your shoulders when you needed a friend.

…the comfort of a hug from a loved one

…the cleansing relief from a good cry

…the feeling of victory when you won a game

…the camaraderie you felt with your friends

…the way you feel when you hear your favorite song

These are but a few of the best things in life.  And they best part is that they’re free!  AND we can still share them. AND there’s no reason to fear the simple things in life!

Categories: Perspectives | Tags: , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

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