You Rang?

Imagine my annoyance when I get a call on my work cellphone from……a telemarketer!  I will admit that I am FAR from a fan of the over advertising which has become so common place.  Advertising has become so over the top that people are actually selling space on their bodies for companies to advertise their products or services. 

Having done some thinking, brainstorming (there was lightning AND thunder), and creative pondering, some ways have been suggested to vent and express displeasure at being bombarded with such annoyances since the “opt-out” and “do not call” are ineffective options:

• when the envelope arrives stuffed full of cards requesting a mailing address so they can send me information (and sell my address to other marketing firms), place the cards in two stacks. Take the company addresses in stack one and write it on the cards of stack two…and likewise for stack two onto stack one.
• I have downloaded a recording of a staged “amorous event” in which the actors quite “vocal” (script writing for such things must be extremely tedious). When a telemarketer calls, I simply ask them to hang on for a second while I finish something up, then play the recording at an enthusiastically appropriate volume.
• Then there’s the idea of stuffing post paid envelopes with various other coupons, cartoons, photos of pets and hope the recipient enjoys the effort.
• Telemarketers seem to be offended when asked for the best way to dispose of a dead and dismembered door-to-door salesperson.
• Speaking of door-to-door salespeople, they do seem to be rather taken aback when you answer the door wearing a BBQ apron, no shirt, (shorts which are hidden behind the apron) and a smile. Then ask them, “So you’re the hooker I ordered? BRAVO! Come on in, the party is on the deck!”
• Another variation of this is to snatch the door open, look around furtively and state loudly, “What took you so long? The sacrificial table is ready and we just can’t wait all day!”

Let me be clear, I have nothing against those who have to deal with the public as a telemarketer, envelope stuffer, or door-to-door sales.  I do have a beef with those who seem to think bombarding me with endless advertisements will somehow entice me to purchase products and services that, apparently, I am too stupid to seek out myself.

But that’s just me.