Resolutions? Really!

It’s that time of year again.  That time when we take a look at our lives and decide to make changes in the coming year.  It is a pointless exercise for most of us because we very quickly lose momentum, get distracted, or just forget what we resolved to accomplish altogether.

So why do we resolve to make changes when we have failed again and again to the point that we just shrug our shoulder, laugh and say “Well, there’s always next year”?

Here is a bit of wisdom that I have garnered regarding Resolutions:

1. Change cannot be contradictory. If you are determined to lose weight, go to the gym, stress less, and spend more time with family, then, while all these SOUND wonderful in and of themselves, they are really quite self-defeating.  Losing weight requires dietary changes and exercise changes.  Change CREATES stress!  And stress tends to cause us to isolate ourselves from our families.  Not to mention you will have the fitness gurus screaming at you that “It’s EASY IF YOU JUST TRY!” or the ever famous “If I can do it, YOU can do it!”.  Ever notice that most of the fitness gurus who do most of the screaming and wielding of the guilt stick are the ones who are thin and have the energy of the Eveready Bunny?  Very seldom do you have people who are just as out of shape as you are asking to become part of a team so you can lose weight together.  Hmmmmm….
2. Change must be achievable.  Let’s say, for the sake of argument, that one of my resolutions is to eat healthier.  Sounds good, but what does “healthier” really look like?  Does that mean I go from eating cheeseburgers every day to nibbling on celery instead?  Yeah, THAT resolution will last.  Set goals that are achievable.  Healthier eating might mean you have salad instead of fries and drink two bottles of water for every soda you consume.
3. Change must be enjoyable. I have people in my life who are dead set on setting my changes for me.  Not only that, but they never miss an opportunity to remind me of the changes THEY have “encouraged” me to make.  Here’s the way change works for me, if I don’t like it, I won’t do it.  This applies to eating habits, exercise habits, work habits, any change I need to make.  If it feels like slavery, that change will not last long and I will become resentful of those pushing me.
4. Change works best as a team.  This is true in pretty much any format.  Get a bunch of people who are pretty much in the same situation and you have a team.  If the team sets a goal, then the team can make the goal a reality.  Encouraging each other, being accountable to each other, working together, pretty much any goal can be realized.
5. Change will only happen when I make a plan I can stick to. I am NOT a morning person by ANY stretch of the imagination.  I have absolutely NO inclination to drag myself out of bed before daylight so I can go to the gym and torture myself while my brain is trying to make my body die so rest can be had.  So if my resolution is to get to the gym, then I must make a plan to do it.  Therefore, I can go to the gym instead of stuffing pizza in my face at lunch, or I can go when I hit that mid afternoon slump and just need a think.  If I make a plan that my mind can work with, the resolution can become a reality.
6. Change can only work if you are willing to forgive yourself.  When we start making changes, we’re going to slip up!  We’re going to miss a day at the gym.  We’re going to indulge our craving for meat once in a while.  But if we beat ourselves up over these slip-ups, or worse let others beat us up over them, the guilt will destroy any hope of lasting change.  If we mess up, okay, we messed up….get back on track and try to make the time a little longer before we mess up again.
7. Change can only happen if it is realistic.  We’ve all heard the fantastic claims by the “Healthy Eating/Exercise” companies who peddle their powders and machines and supplements and “systems.”  They all claim that you can have the body you always wanted in just a few months if you will only go broke, sign over your life, and surrender everything to them (and if you help generate more followers of their cult, you can “get rich” too).  Listen, the body I have always wanted is currently being occupied by someone else who doesn’t know I exist, so let’s just put that puppy to rest.  The body I currently have could use a bit of renovation, but nothing drastic.  After all, Rome wasn’t rebuilt in a day or a month or even a year.

Hopefully you will join me in welcoming the new year with realistic, achievable resolutions!

See With Vision, Not With Sight!

I happened upon this quote of Epictetus, “It is impossible for a man to learn what he thinks he already knows.”  How odd that this nugget of wisdom from the ancient Epictetus is still a resounding truth today!

Take, for example, the idea that for centuries we feared sailing beyond the sight of land because we just KNEW that we would fall off the edge of the world. And yet, we were eventually able to learn the truth that the earth doesn’t just drop us off when we go so far.

For many years we just KNEW that the Moon was made of cheese, yet we were eventually able to overcome that thinking to realize that attempting to make a sandwich with the Moon was not exactly ideal for the digestion.

Consider, also, the notions regarding diet.  For a while, eggs are bad, then they are good, then they are back on the naughty list with bacon and all the other foods I find thoroughly tasty.  We also have been told that meat is bad, then it is good, then it is bad again.  The same can be said for bread, butter, sugar, coffee, beer, and other delectables.

We go to the beach and are told that the sun can cause skin cancer so slather on lots of sunscreen. Then we are told that the ingredients of the sunscreen are ineffective as sunscreen but make an excellent skin softener.

I mistrust anyone who claims to have the final knowledge on any subject!  How many times have you decided not to order something from the menu because someone you knew told you THEY didn’t like it?  How many times have you had a wonderful experience at a business only to have that experience jaded because someone you knew had a bad experience?

We seem to miss out on so much wonder found in this world because we think we already know all about it, yet we make new discoveries quite frequently.  We need to start opening our own eyes and senses to experience this world for ourselves!  Stop relying on the declarations of, let’s face it, other human beings as flawed as we are.

Why do we elevate the opinions of others above our own?  Are they the ones who will be living YOUR life?  NO!  You live your life!  You experience your own adventures!  Let’s open our senses and LIVE our own lives!  See the world with your own vision!

Let The Adventure Begin!

As you may or may not be aware, I have been existing in absentia from my pages for quite some time.  Call it a “Reflective Vacation”; Call it “Extended Contemplation”; Call it “lazy”….they are all, in some way, correct.  Having wearied of this self imposed exile, ’tis time to, once more, take up the virtual pen and release the mental horde upon this community.

Life is, in and of itself, a rather dull existence.  We sleep, wake, eat, work, eat, home, eat, only to start the routine all over again.  *sigh* How boring is that?  Why even bother?  Just the same old thing every day, day after day……after day……..after day……until we realize that we are dead and have the courtesy to lie down.

Where’s the adventure?  Didn’t the brochure at birth promise us limitless adventure?  Mine also advertised fun filled relaxing holidays in an all inclusive package where I get to sit on the beach all day (baking in the sun, getting all sweaty and sand covered) whilst people whom I have never met bring me drinks of varying colors, textures, and alcohol contents.

Here’s the fact of the matter: If you want an adventure in life, then get off the couch and out of the chair!  Remove yourself from your comfort zone and step outside.  Adventure awaits the Adventurous!

Want an adventure? Go to Walmart at 3:00am wearing a rubber chicken costume.  Or go to the zoo dressed as Tarzan.  Or swim in the ocean with raw meat strapped to you.  How about starting a conversation with someone you don’t know?  Perhaps as you walk through your day make it a point to smile and speak to everyone you meet?  Better yet, do a random act of niceness and do it anonymously with no possible way for anyone to know you are the perpetrator.

Adventures don’t have to include spiders, snakes, and assassins!  Adventures are what you find to be adventurous!

Clown Cars and Other Relationship Fun

We’ve all heard the stories before. Some so sickeningly sweet that they leave a syrupy feeling on your skin.  Some so incredibly horrendous that the truly dark side of rage begins to manifest within.  Some are a series of ups and downs that are reminiscent of mountain road.  Some are so packed with stories that it’s as if you’re watching the clowns pop out of the clown car next.

 

Every one of us has a trunk full of relationship stories. Understand, I am not the ideal advice giver, by ANY stretch of the imagination.  I have had a few foul-ups, screw-ups, bloopers, and the odd wasp in the ointment. So take from my experiences what you will, and do attempt to keep an open mind. Giggling, gafortling, and raucous laughter are acceptable. Judgementalism is welcome to leave now!

 

The first piece of the relationship puzzle I’d like to address are the “games.”  Why are we SO afraid to let someone know how we feel?  Because they may not feel the same way? Okay, if they don’t, MOVE ON!  And, while we’re on the subject, how do you know how they feel about you truly?  Could they simply be telling/showing you whatever will get from you what they want?  Been there, got the scars to show for it.

 

Second, as a people watcher, I’ve seen people (and experienced this first hand) completely change personalities when the object of their affection is near.  They can go from verbally giving a store clerk a two-fisted prostate exam, to the gentlest butterfly in a single breath.  Why is that?  If you wear masks in relationships, what do you do when the mask slips?  Isn’t that mask a LOT of extra effort to try to maintain?

 

Third, expecting your special flutter builder to change their personality to suit you…? Seriously? How many times do you think they’ve had someone try to change them? Now if you and your finkleheimer truly want the relationship to grow, then changes will be made by BOTH. 

 

If you don’t seem interested…don’t expect your partner to continue to seem interested.  Leave the whole coy thing to the fish (yes, that’s koi but I was making a pun). If you are interested, show it. If you’re not, don’t wonder why nothing happens.

 

In short, if you want a relationship to work, treat your partner the same way you want to be treated.  Quit the games.  Have fun! Talk! Laugh! Enjoy!

Are You MAD, Sir?

When was the last time you did something that wasn’t part of your normal routine?  When was the last time you took a risk and tried something new, and I’m NOT talking about broccoli or asparagas? 

We are critters of habit and we can be BORING!  Look at your daily walk through and you’ll see what I mean.  Usually, and I realize there are alterations, exceptions, and this doesn’t apply to everyone, the routine is something like this:
     * Beat the alarm senseless with vile words, thoughts of violence against all things alarm clock related.
     * Perform the Herculean task of sitting up.
     * Engage in various stretching, yawning, and scratching as you stumble blindly toward the bathroom.
     * Spend a few moments wondering where you are and who is that horrific beast staring at you.
     * Realize that you’re staring into the mirror, wipe the mirror hoping the beast will change into something better.
     * Take care of the various evolutions and toddle off toward the coffee pot.
     * Perform the remaining 3 s-steps, while wondering what you’re going to wear.
     * More coffee.
     * Perform the sniff test on the shirt and smile you can get by with another wear.
     * Look into the mirror and make your final adjustments.
     * Realize your underwear are on backwards and flip a coin to decide whether to fix them or let it go.
     * More Coffee.
     * Grab the briefcase, top off the coffee, and head off to work.
     * Bored Meetings (yes, that was intentional), Memos, Reports, Clients, Return Telephone Calls
     * Lunch, More coffee
     * Finally get around to fixing the underwear issue.
     * More Coffee in preparation for the 3 pm energy slump.
     * Respond to e-mails, sign off on files and reports, put files and reports in “TO BE FILED” box.
     * Get in car for the drive home, and wait in traffic as some bonehead has decided that SLOWER traffic should NOT move to one lane, but should race to see how many others can get backed up behind them before the road rage begins.
     * Change clothes.  Think about the laundry that needs to be done.  Put it on list marked “Tomorrow”
     * Eat dinner.
     * Doze off with the television on “The Big Bang Theory.”

While there may be variations of this ritualistic peek at the daily routine, we are creatures of habit.  Most of us are anyway.  Here’s the good part, we don’t have to be.  Understand that I’m not suggesting, even remotely, that we should live our lives in total chaos.  But a little chaotic behavior is not a bad thing.

Life is, after all, an adventure….and you only get this one turn on the ride.  Take some chances!
Instead of simply following the road, make your own path.  A path only becomes a path by traffic. 

I have a Bucket List (see my page marked “Bucket List”) but I have several things I’d like to try:
     1. Spend a week with no plan, no schedule, no itinerary, in a place I’ve never been before (but want to visit).
     2. Collect a shot glass from every state and any countries I can manage.
     3. Learn how to take photographs that don’t include my fingers.
     4. Visit Licthtenstein.  I just like saying that name.
     5. Yell “MOVIE” in a crowded Firehouse.
     6. I would say, “learn to sing opera” but that’s pretty much not going to happen.  I don’t even sing well in the shower or the car, so opera is out of the question.
     7. Help someone discover that life is fun if you let it be.  Confucius said, “Life is simple, it is we who complicate it.”
     8. Try a beer from every microbrewery in the U.S. and Canada.
     9. Be able to spend a year writing a book that people would want to read.
     10. See a flashmob do the Time Warp in Grand Central Station. (Yeah, I’ve still got that song bouncing around my cranium).

Why do we make life so boring and routine?  Why must we get in a rut?  Is it for comfort or is it because we don’t know any better? 

LIFE IS SIMPLE!  LIFE should be an adventure.  When I come to the end of mine, I want it to be because I’ve truly lived all the life out of me; not because I gave up and quit living.
 

Eye Spy?

I’m slowly learning to tolerate a lot of things as the years pass. There was a time when, believe it or not, I was, how shall I say this…….Impatient is the word I’m looking for, I believe. For example, when I actually got a day off, there was a time I couldn’t stand NOT to be out doing stuff. Now…I’m pretty protective of my time off. While I’ve always been rather reserved and introverted, there was a time when people didn’t bother me too much. If I didn’t want to talk to you, I would either ignore you or simply smile and walk away. Now I find myself becoming almost irritated with people who insist on thrusting their decision to chat upon me or feel they must assault me with their conversation when I was minding my own business. And while I’m still rather wanting to thrash the person who think it is perfectly acceptable to look over my shoulder while I type this in the coffee shop, I am proving my restraint by refraining from doing so. Having said this, I wish to state for the record that I do love people, as a group. As a matter of fact, some of my favorite friends are people. Perhaps age has softened more than just my mental recollectional abilities. Or perhaps time has just faded from my mind where the annoying people got buried. Either way…..I feel more tolerant.

Synaptical Stroll

Sometimes, you just have to say “WOW!”

I realize that there are times, more often than not, when my mind tends to zongle about zinging and pinging from thought to thought, every so often slowing enough to wander, and, even then, somewhat aimlessly strolling off from point to point.  Today’s Mental Constitutional consisted of following various rabbit trail and weasel runs through the underbrush of the cranial scenery.  Happened upon a few photos that caused me to pause and gaze in wonder.

 Upon losing myself in the process of staring at these images, I said to myself, which is a completely different conversation completely, “How is it possible that such sights exist and yet we miss or ignore them?”  Talking to oneself is NOT a mark of insanity.  However, arguing with oneself and losing said argument is a good indication that the pot of grits ain’t exactly boiling.

 Just look at these images and let your mind wander about for a bit.  That wander is called a “mental vacation” and is a very good way to, not only, relieve a touch of stress, but also to appreciate the world outside our cubicle.  Imagine….there IS a whole world out there waiting for you to discover and enjoy, and it starts right outside your cube.  Just a thunk of a think for today.

 

WOW Again!

Mission Accomplished

Truly amazing it is the journeys our minds take us on; some amusing, some fascinating, some dull and boring (cure for insomnia that), some fantastic adventures, and all from to comfort of the theatre between the ears.

I realize it’s hard to believe, but my life is actually truly routine and dull with the odd shot of thrill and the frequent mental vacation from sensibilities.  This tends to permit the sanity to have free reign and dash about like a kid in a candystore wanting to look in every glass at once.  And NO, I do NOT leave noseprints on the glass. 

The commute to and from the place from which I collect my stipend also lends itself to bouts of daydreaming.  So YES, I spend very little time actually in controlled concentration and much of the time allowing my mind to scamper about like a butterfly on crack.

But simply because the cranial captive is bouncing from portal to portal seeking escape or refuge, there is an underlying theme to the seeming madness.  “Enjoy and spread joy!”  That is my mission in life.  To share the joy.  If that is in making you laugh until you snort, wet yourself, or fall over something, then MISSION ACCOMPLISHED. 

If that is in helping you see that you are truly quite wonderful and interesting. Again, Mission Accomplished.

It that is simply to get you to think or just smile…..Mission Accomplished.

The best things in life are simple things.  The more fun people in life like simple and aren’t afraid of those of us who are weird. 

Thank You For Traveling With IMAGINATION TRAVELS!

Fun In Elevators

Elevators CAN be fun!!

I recently discovered that there’s another blogger here that shares my enthusiasm for Fun In Elevators!  You REALLY should ask her about her antics, because they are priceless.  Oh, the blogger is Vivaciously Fabulous, feel free to poke about her blog and pepper her with questions, comments, suggestions, and general wisdom.

I must explain that, in my sector of existence, elevators have to have a permit.  This permit is from, and I kid you not, The Office of Elevators and Amusement Rides. I can’t make this stuff up. Thus, because of this particular permitting entity, I consider elevators to be an extension of the whole Amusement Rides venue and like to enjoy them as much as possible.

I’m not speaking of something as mundane as pushing all the buttons when you step off *groan* that is incredibly dull! 

• Start small, when someone steps into the car and the doors close (so they can’t escape)…applaud, ask for their autograph, cheer upon their exit on their floor. 

• A friend, who shall remain nameless, took it upon himself/herself/themselves to decorate the elevator and put up streamers, crepe paper, and balloons. 

• On another occasion, I witnessed some friends break into ballroom dancing to the elevator muzak. 

• You can, of course, choose your own dance, depending on your agility, size of the car, your gracefulness.

• Consider starting a Conga Line.

• Buy two cups of coffee and give one to the first person that exits the car.

What do we normally do in the elevator?  Spend the whole trip NOT looking at anyone, NOT saying anything, NOT making eye contact.  It’s just wasted time!  Have some creative fun with it!  See if you can rub your tummy while patting your head through the entire trip (YOUR OWN!!). Come on and live a little.

What’s Stopping You From Truly Living?

What Stops You From Living?

Time passes and one day we look back to see that we have changed.  The things we once considered fun, don’t see to be as much fun anymore.  The happiness we once felt, doesn’t seem as strong.

 

What happened to us?  Could be that our tastes have changed…could be we’ve grown up….could be we’ve actually matured (somewhat)…could be any number of reasons or could be no discernible reason at all.  

 

Consider this: You want to feel happy, you want to experience fun, you want to know closeness, you want to have friends and relationships?  So what’s stopping you?

 

Are you letting past experience stop you from living?  Are you letting others dictate your life to you?  Are you allowing fear to plan your life?  How about anger?

 

What’s stopping you from truly living?  YOU are!  It’s that simple.